As you may recall, the person that led me to become aware of Buddhism was the actor Richard Gere . It was one of the wisest crushes I have ever had but I am not going to get into that now. However, I will share a story that has to do with Richard Gere, Buddhism and a realization that led me on my way to finally attaining the happiness that I had been craving since I was five.
I don’t remember the year but it had to be around 1997-1999. I was in law school, I was twenty-five and in the midst of a mid-life crisis. I was miserable. I knew I was miserable. The ironic thing is that I had every little thing I wanted. I am serious…I had everything. I had it all. Nothing was lacking…absolutely nothing except I was empty, unhappy and terrified that the rest of my life was going to be a continuation of this misery.
So one night, there was an interview with Richard Gere and of course, I had to watch it. I sat on my couch in my gorgeous apartment in a fabulous high-rise in the city of Boston. The interview was standard until the discussion led to how Buddhism had changed Richard Gere’s life. That is when I became really interested in the interview. I had recently been studying Buddhism and knew that I was at a turning point so naturally I wanted to hear more about the powerful effects of Buddhism.
Richard Gere’s then went on to describe an exercise that he thought made him more peaceful. He said that when he walked on the streets of New York, he would silently send out love to whomever passed him by. He would say in his mind “may you be filled with love” or something like “may you be surrounded with love”. I don’t remember the exact words but the idea was that he sent out positive thoughts to whomever he saw. He said that people would somehow sense that positivity and just smile in return or say hello.
I don’t remember the rest of the interview but I do remember that I was fascinated by the exercise and decided that I would try it myself the next morning. When I woke up the next morning, I was filled with the enthusiasm at the prospect of sending out love to whomever crossed my path. I kept telling myself: “send out love, send out love…you are love, may love surround you”. I was reciting this mantra throughout every step of my morning routine. I was sure I was going to last the entire day and feel full of joy.
I walked out of my apartment, all smiles and determined to meet my task. I got in the elevator and sent out positivity to all the five other people who were on there. I felt great. Within seconds, we were in the lobby of the building and the first person I saw as I made my way to the exit was the doorman who just annoyed me every time I saw him and the minute I saw him, I just could not send out love. My immediate thought of seeing him just brought up the opposite of love. I felt horrible that my attempts of sending out love and positivity did not last more than 5 minutes.
I am happy to report that once I made it out to the sidewalk, I was able to send out love but I was deeply saddened that I could not send the same amount of positivity to the doorman. I thought about it as the day went on and by the time I was in bed, I realized that the doorman (who was a very unhappy person) was just a mirror of my unhappiness. How could I send out love to another if I did not send out that same love to myself. I then realized that happy people want others to be happy. Life is a reflection of what we think and feel.
Once I saw all of this, I realized that I had a whole lot of inner work to do and that is when my spiritual journey really began. Now, ten years later, it is second nature to send out love and positive thoughts to whomever I see. I am no more miserable and I am at peace with myself. Life is awesome. I do suggest that you try the experiment of sending out positive thoughts to whomever you see during the day. You will be surprised at the reaction of people. Some people will smile in return, some will talk to you and some may simply ignore you. The reaction is not as important as how you will feel. Love begets love and joy begets joy. So the choice is yours.
{ 19 comments }
What a great post! I am twenty-five and recently went through the I-have-everything-but-I’m-still-miserable quarterlife crisis. On the tail end of it now, I’m working hard to be happy with myself, which I believe will lead to happiness with the world around me and the other people in my life. On my path to happiness, I’ve realized that being at peace with one’s self and truly loving yourself are absolutely necessary to being a happy person. I’ve done the same exercise you mention in your post — sending out positive thoughts — and I really feel like it works. More often than not, this positivity comes back to you. I am trying to live every day focus on being positive in the present moment and your post really helped to reinforce why I need to do this to be a happier person. You might enjoy the post I put up this morning, focusing on a Dave Matthews song called “Pig.” Check it out at: http://positivelypresent.typepad.com/positively_present/
@ Positively Present – I am happy that you liked the post. If I am give you some advice based on my experience, don’t work so hard to be happy with yourself. Yes, being happy requires inner work as does loving oneself. However, by trying too hard you may get in your own way.
@ Lisis – You got good karma, mi hermana! So does your dad! Here is something interesting, it in 1999 that my spiritual went into full speed…so you may be right!
@ Giovanna – Thank you so much for all the kind words. I can tell they come from the heart.
Hi, Nadia!
You know, I think we may really be spiritual sisters. I remember a time, in early 1999 when the Dalai Lama was in town (I think visiting the Tibetan Center at Emory). It was just after my parents’ accident, and my dad was at the Shepherd Center Hospital. Somehow, someone arranged for two of the Dalai Lama’s monks (the guys that travel with him) to come to my dad’s bedside and chant Buddhist prayers for his emotional and physical healing.
THAT moment set me on the path of love and compassion. Maybe it was YOUR loving thoughts that day that sent the monks to ME.
=-)
Hi Nadia
I always got to feeling of Peac and love from you in your writing, and I am so happy to learn how you got started.
I love what you said about, “sending out positive thoughts to whomever you see during the day.” What a wonderful reminder for all to keep spreading positive and our world will be fill with positiveness.
Thank you for sharing.
Giovanna Garcia
Imperfect Action is better than No Action
Hey Nadia,
Works sometimes , other times I just forget. Your post was good reminder.
Am also 25 and trying to send positive vibes to those around me. (Am beginning to think it is something 25yr olds do.
Thank you
Hi Uzma,
Welcome to Happy Lotus! I think more and more people have life crisis at 25. I have no idea why that is but I have heard so many people tell me that so you are not alone. I am glad that my post was a reminder!
What an awesome post, Nadia.
In my more conscious moments I seem to do this intuitively. I get a sense of walking amongst my brothers and sisters, rather than faceless strangers. I can’t help but smile, I don’t get flustered when people walk in front of me slowly.
I am not always in that state though, unfortunately, sometimes I’m too wrapped up in my thinking. But deliberately trying to cultivate that state is what finally made Christmas shopping tolerable to me.
I will try this on my way home.
Hi David,
I have found that by doing this simple act over and over again, it becomes a habit. Of course, there are days when I am not in that state of mind due to physical reasons or just feeling a bit down. However, for the most part, when you have this state of mind, each encounter with another is always fun.
I hope you have a nice time home!
That’s a lovely story! I’m going to spread love! I really think I do but much more consciously and particularly.
It is proven that even plants realise these things. Tests were conducted where one would go near a plant and just think ‘i’m gonna cut this plant’ and the plant would react to that. They are telepathic.
I’m sure humans are telepathic too. That’s why we feel some positive vibrations from certain people and negative from the rest.
Finally, you have a superb blog. I’ll keep visiting.
Hi V.J. Krishna!
Welcome to Happy Lotus! I know of that study with plants. I have come to the realization that everything is made of energy. I think many people are intuitive, they just don’t know it.
I am so happy that you like my blog. Thank you so much for the kind words!
Hi Nadia,
I’ve just compiled my Thought for next week under the theme “Sow what you want to reap”, and when I clicked in here and saw your post it made me smile: what better thing to sow than love and light!
It’s bedtime for me now, but tomorrow I’m gonna sow
Thanks for this!
Hi Hilda!
You are most welcome. Have fun sowing love and light…it will come back to you tenfold!
Sweet dreams, my friend!
Hi Nadia,
I too have heard of sending out love. I’ve read about it from a book called “The power of positive thinking” by Norman Vincent Peale. It’s a great idea and I have tried it too. When I started it the first thing I felt was that I was happier than usual and bit later I’ve found that people have become to like me more than ever. And it relax our mind too. But later I’ve slipped my habit and now you’ve refreshed my memories about that.
Thanks a lot. I’m inspired to keep on doing that.
Have a great day Nadia!
Hi Vikum,
You are most welcome! I have read Peale’s book too but that was a long time ago. Thank you for reminding me about him. I am happy to know that the post was inspiring. And although it is time for me to sleep, have a great day too!
Thanks Nadia!
I can feel the love all the way from L.A.!!!!
@ Michael – You are welcome!
@ VJ – Thank you so much for the suggestion.
I do have a Gravatar but for some reason it did not show up on your site. BTW, I will be upgrading my site soon and plan to have Gravatars appear with the comments. So that way everyone who reads this blog will know what I look like.
Nadia
You must get a GRAVATAR!!!
Check out this link for a step-by-step guide: http://www.vjkrishna.com/gravatars/
Dear Nadia,
I came to your blog through Urbanmonk.net. I liked your blog a lot. I am trying to find some meaning, some purpose for my life. Your blog has lot to offer. I will keep visiting and learning. This idea of spreading love is awesome, but the same time your observation that if you are not happy about yourself , you can not spread love is equally true.
Thanks and Regards,
Kabir
Hi Kabir!
Welcome to Happy Lotus! Thank you so much for all that you wrote and for sharing how you discovered this blog. I really believe each person has a purpose and it is up to us to find it. So I am sure that you will. The mere fact you are aware of wanting a purpose is a great thing. So you are on the right track! As for love; in the end that is all that matters and to give love, you have to be at peace with who you are.