Here is a story that I think is a perfect example on how to respond when something happens in your life. I have heard this story told by both Buddhists and Hindus. So it has to have originated somewhere in Asia. I came across the story twelve years ago when I first began to study Buddhism. Here is the story:
There once was a farmer who had this huge farm and it was so big, it was hard for him at times to care for it. Then one day, his son returned home from school and was able to assist in the taking care of the farm.
All the neighbors went to the farmer and began saying to him: “You are so lucky. You now have your son who can help you.” The father responded: “No good, no bad.”
A few weeks passed and one day the son fell of his horse while out working in the fields. He ended up breaking his leg and had to stay indoors. All the neighbors came rushing to the father and said: “What bad luck, now your son cannot help you and you have to do all that work on your own.” The father simply responded: “No good, no bad.”
A week passed and word among the area was that the army was coming to get the young men so that they can join and fight in an upcoming battle. The recruiters went to the farmer’s house and because his son had broken his leg, he could not go to war.
So the moral of the story is that whatever happens to you, accept it and make the best out of it. For you never know what the future will bring. The broken leg of the son was a bad thing but it prevented him from going to battle which was a good thing. So just go with the flow and trust that someway and somehow you will be okay. There is no good and there is no bad, only thinking makes it so - it is what it is.
{ 28 comments }
Nadia,
I also previously read and enjoyed this story. I think the moral is particularly applicable in today’s economy. Sometime people are fired from their current jobs (bad?), but then start new careers or businesses that they enjoy more (good?).
This is one of my favorite stories too. It reminds me of the movie Kung Fu Panda (which is where all my heavenly wisdom comes from, btw.) One guy comes in with bad news, and the zen master calmly says something like, “There is only news; it is not good or bad.” But upon hearing what the news was, he says, “That IS bad news!”
But seriously, I do believe there is no good or bad because we don’t know what is in store for us.
Life IS what it IS.
Love this. It’s so true! I got laid off (bad) but started a new career I love (good)!
I’ve heard that story before and enjoyed it. I’m going to try to let it stick with me a little more this time. However, I’ll prefer to call upon its wisdom in tough times, not happy times…I want to celebrate the good times!! ; )
I love the idea “no good, no bad.” Acceptance is so important in life because there will always be good times and there will always be bad. We have to realize that life is what it is. We can’t always control it and, since we can’t, the best way to deal with this is to accept life as it is. This post makes me think of the whole rainbow idea…you have to have both sun AND rain to have a rainbow.
@ Roger – I agree with you. This story can also apply to the economic situation of the entire world. I have always believed that things happen for a reason. This particular story is a great reminder and example of that belief.
@ Lisis – You are absolutely right. Life is what it is!
So all your heavenly wisdom comes from Kung Fu Panda? Wow…I must see that movie. BTW, I love pandas. They are so cute and cuddly looking.
@ Michelle – Yay for you having a new career that you love!!!! That is wonderful. I am so happy for you! Life works in amazing ways. Thank you so much for sharing your experience
@ Kirwin – Your comment makes a great point. It is important to remember the moral of this story in what we consider bad times. I hope it sticks with you too, my friend!
@ P.P. – Glad you liked the post! Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
This story is also very famous in China, and it is often found in discussions of Taoism. When I was teaching in China, even just beginning this story prompted my students to finish it! All my students knew it by heart.
I love this story too, Nadia. Nice to be reminded of it. Thank you! I think your readers might also like Byron Katie’s ‘Loving What is’ and her technique ‘The Work’.
@ Thomas (a.k.a Hochmann) – Welcome to Happy Lotus! As I told you already on Twitter, you made my day this morning! I am happy to see you here, too. Very cool on teaching in China. Where in China did you teach? You are right, this story is popular there too. One of my friends is from Taiwan (and is a Taoist and a follower of Lao-Tzu) and she was aware of the story. Another example of how we live in a small world!
@ Janice – Everyone keeps telling me about Bryon Katie and I still have not managed to read up on her. I think the Universe is trying to tell me something! Amazon.com will be so thrilled!
Hi Nadia,
“Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward.” ~Kierkegaard
I like this post very much. A simple truth which most of the people have forgotten.If you can keep this in mind and move on while accepting things as THINGS , life will be definitely great.
You are always finding the awesome ideas to blog about
Have a great day!
This story is a great lesson in nonjudgment. I guess the key is to make a habit of responding to every undesirable event with the same “No good, no bad” wisdom. It really does make logical sense.
I remember being disappointed that I didn’t get a particular job once. But because I didn’t I quickly got a better job, and ended up meeting five or six of my best friends there. The same people I had dinner with last night, ten years later.
I’ll see if I can carry that healthy indifference throughout the day today.
@ Vikum: I love that Kierkegaard quote (and almost everything else he wrote!)
@ Vikum – Thank you so much for the kind words! I am so happy that you loved this post. You are right, it is a simple truth!
@ David – When I look back at things that did not work out, I see the wisdom of why they did not happen the way that I wanted. It applies in every aspect of our lives. So we just have to be open to whatever comes our way.
I’ve heard various versions of the story over the years, and always enjoyed it. Thanks for posting! It’s a great reminder –
Hi Mark!
Welcome to Happy Lotus! I am happy that you enjoyed the post. It is a great reminder of how life can be.
the timing of your posting this story — and my getting to read it — is right on for an experience i had yesterday and blogged about today: We Regret to Inform You…: Dealing with Rejection, Together
i often think of the saying, “life is what happens while we’re making other plans.” it’s funny and strange how often we want something, and thought it was the best thing for us, but a different, uncontrollable event led to a good, if not better, something-else.
i wish i’d remember that more often, actually.
Hi Adam,
The Universe works in mysterious ways, right? I read your post and I know how hard it is to receive such a letter. I have been there. However, you do not need a Master’s Degree to be an excellent writer. This reminds me of a joke: if you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans!
Great story, I might have heard it when I was little. Any way, I like this story. There is no good or bad, it is how we react to it that makes it so.
Thank you for sharing, I like the photos it tell the story well.
Giovanna Garcia
Imperfect Action is better than No Action
Hi Giovanna,
I am so happy you liked the post and you are right, it all boils down to how we choose to react. I like the pictures too!
Hi just found your blog and wanted to say hi! I can’t wait to read more — very inspiring!
Hi Nadia! I’m glad I found your blog thru your guest post at Evelyn’s blog. Being able to see the positive even in negative situations is indeed the sign of great power. It is being able to turn things around, and not losing faith, believing always in the goodness of life.
@ Shannon – Welcome to Happy Lotus! Thank you so much for your comment and support!
Have a great day!
@ Jocelyn – Welcome to Happy Lotus! I am so happy that you liked the guest post and that you discovered my blog because of it.
You are right about how there is goodness in life. We just need to recognize it and sometimes that means we have to look at the situation from a different angle.
Hi, I like your story. It illustrates the truth that we really don’t know enough to make a judgment. And the deeper understanding that the Universe only gives us love, no matter what we might think.
Hi Anne,
Welcome to Happy Lotus! You are absolutely right. The Universe only gives us love, it is up to us to recognize it.
Don’t mean to be a killjoy, Nadia, but I honestly can’t wrap my head around the notion that “there is no good and there is no bad.” When my son is abducted at knife point and raped by a pedophile, or when an eight-year-old Saudi girl is forced to marry a 47-year-old man, how can I possibly respond to these events without harsh judgment?
Hi Betaphi,
Welcome to Happy Lotus! No worries regarding your comment. You raised a very valid point. Bad things do happen in the world. We all have had painful and traumatic things done to us. Some have had it worse than others. No one is immune from suffering. As to why those things happen, no one fully knows. However, we have the power to chose how to react to those things. The story of “No Good, No Bad” is a story of how to react when something in life happens.
Your point of reacting with harsh judgment is natural but what will it achieve? Will the harsh judgment erase the pain? Will the harsh judgment change what happened? It won’t. Trust me, I have been there and harsh judgment only made things worse. I am not saying to deny feeling pain or anger. What I am saying is not to let it eat away at your soul.
Nadia
I’ve long thought good and bad are man-made concepts. I believe they can be helpful as short-hand for things that cause us pain or joy (to really simplify it). The problem comes when we start to apply moral judgement to ‘good’ and ‘bad’, start to classify people as one or the other and add to that ‘deserve’ thinking (with its add-ons of reward and punishment).
So in the example of the previous commenter I would say that those situations cause huge distress and pain (to most or all parties involved). I feel disturbed even thinking about them. In that sense they are ‘bad’ – which is helpful thinking because it then mobilises us to prevent it happening and to protect us.
I agree with you that applying moral judgement to these situations achieves nothing. Classifying the rapist or the 47 year old Saudi as ‘bad people’ does nothing other than keep the pain alive. It is also subjective and conditioned by many things. Punishing from that energy rarely achieves anything either. Certainly it doesn’t ‘right the wrong’, nor does it reform the ‘wrong doer’.
Ian | Quantum Learning’s most recent blog post..Power of beliefs
Hi Ian,
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. Betaphi should be commended for being so open in leaving such a comment because it leads to meaningful discussion. Your comment is an example of how that discussion is continuing.
May we all be protected from negativity and may we all always have an open heart. Those who commit acts of violence to others are pained people who just want to make others miserable. Sometimes the best way to defeat their poison is to overcome what they inflicted and be like the phoenix in Egyptian mythology. That is easier said than done but the human spirit is stronger than we realize.