I recently watched an interview with Steve Martin on You Tube. At the very end of the interview, he said the following:
“Be undeniably good. When people ask me how do you make it in show business or whatever, what I always tell them and nobody ever takes note of it ‘cuz it’s not the answer they wanted to hear — what they want to hear is here’s how you get an agent, here’s how you write a script, here’s how you do this — but I always say, ‘Be so good they can’t ignore you.’ If somebody’s thinking, ‘How can I be really good?’, people are going to come to you. It’s much easier doing it that way than going to cocktail parties.”
When I was a freshman in college, I began my career as a writer. Writing was something that I loved and I love it even more now. I was an English Literature major and I was blessed to have wonderful teachers. The great thing about a major in literature is that you learn to write on demand. Combine that with the college newspaper, internships and jobs and you end up learning a lot about the importance of writing something without much preparation. However, despite what I learned, I never felt quite sure of what my voice would be as a writer.
I tried very hard to be a journalist but it just was not my thing. I then moved on to politics and I was good as a political writer. I would answer questions fron various newspapers while working on elections and it was great. Between politics and law school, I learned the ability to take anything and turn into an advantage. I was the master of seeing the positive in any given situation and I always managed to be honest about whatever was happening. That ability to be honest won me more promotions than my other colleagues. Even though I had talent in politics, I still felt I had no idea what my voice as a writer would be and eventually I got burned out and tired of politics which was around the time my mid-life crisis began…except it happened at the age of 25.
When I was on my spiritual journey, I dealt with a lot of painful issues that I needed to come to terms with in order to achieve the happiness I so much wanted ever since I was five. We all have our pains and in order to move past them, you have to make peace with them. Sounds easier said than done. However, when you do that inner work, you come to understand who you are as a person. You recognize your strengths and you are okay with the weaknesses. When I went through this process, I finally began to realize what my voice would be as a writer.
Yes, it took many years to find it but it was worth it. It is my wish for everyone to find their voice as a person. There are no set methods as to what your voice should be. No two snowflakes are alike, so why should two human beings be? Take the time to discover what makes you the unique individual that you are. We all have something to contribute to the world. So why waste precious time trying to be something that you are not? Be undeniably good in being you…come on, the world is waiting for you!
Here’s the link to the interview with Steve Martin (the above mentioned quote is at the end of the interview): http://www.charlierose.com/view/interview/8907
Below is the opening of an old television show with a great theme song that matches this post:
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Great post Nadia. I am finding the same thing. I abandoned my first career as a computer programmer because it just clearly wasn’t for me. Then I got into a more interesting career in civil works, but I know it too is not my voice. Now that I’ve begun to write and connect with people through the internet, I can see that this is for me. This is what makes me feel alive, and this is how I want to make my living.
That was a great interview with Steve Martin, it was my breakfast soundtrack this morning. He’s a very upfront and genuine man.
David Cain’s most recent blog post..How to Alleviate Self-Consciousness and Other People-Allergies
Haha looks like you triggered an automatic trackback to a Steve Jobs website, because you mentioned “Steve” and “jobs” in the same post!
David Cain’s most recent blog post..How to Alleviate Self-Consciousness and Other People-Allergies
Well said, Nadia! I think all of us go through a period of searching before we find our true calling. I worked in radio and TV for a while, got sick of that, went into non-profit, got tired of that, and now I’m in civil service…and tired of that! But just like David said above, now that I’ve found that I can connect with people through my blog, I can see that this is what I want to do.
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Hey Nadia! What I got from this article and the comments above is that it’s kinda stupid to expect us to go to uni and determine a career at the age of 18 or 19. Most of us seem to really find what we are really good in our late 20s at least.
Albert | UrbanMonk.Net’s most recent blog post..Allowing Your Loved Ones Their Full Experience, Part 4
The funny thing is that I’ve been trying to impart this same message to my 5-year old, who is just starting to deal with playground politics. I want him to have the strength and self confidence to know that he is fine the way he is, and that he doesn’t have to change in order to be friends with the You-Can-Be-Friends-With-Me-Today-but-Not-Tomorrow Child. And here’s the really funny part…I’m no expert in this area–I’m trying to gain the same self-confidence and strength of self for MYSELF.
Thanks for the great post.
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@ David – I am glad that you liked the post and that you have found something that makes you happy. That is awesome!
@ Jay – Thank you for sharing your journey to find what makes your heart sing! That is wonderful. Joseph Campbell said that when you follow your bliss, doors will open and opportunities will come.
@ Albert – You make a great point which never crossed my mind as I wrote the post. The majority of us don’t know what we want out of life until we are in our late twenties. So it is kind of weird to be expected to know what we want when we are 18 or 19. Granted, there are some people who do but I think those are in the minority.
@ Kirwin – Someone once told me that the best way to learn something is to teach it to another person. So maybe by helping your son, you are helping yourself. I know that is easier said than done.
BTW, none of us are an expert at it either.
good stuff, nadia. [and steve martin is cool, too.
]
i’m going to be a bit literal here with the finding voice as a writer thing… when i started as a newspaper reporter some years ago, i tried to write how i thought everyone would want me to write. my editor didn’t always think i was so great at it. i disagreed with him.
i left the paper for several months, thanks to having received a grant for a writing project. when i came back to the paper, my editor was blown away at the difference.
that difference was that i decided to be me. in my time away to write on my own project, i found my writer’s voice and decided to stick with it when i went back to the newspaper. i had decided to be honest with myself and be the writer i wanted to be. (i also looked back at my stories from my first stint with the paper, and realized my editor had been right. the stuff often wasn’t as good as i thought.)
now, i must admit that as a blogger, i’m having to work on re-finding that voice, instead of trying to write for others’ expectations. but i know i can do it, as i’ve learned that lesson at least once before.
i appreciate your words, nadia, on the value of everyone finding their voice, their contribution in the world.
i like how you said people need to find
Hi, Nadia! When I grow up, I want to be undeniably good at something… ANYthing! For now, I’ll have to settle for doing things just because I enjoy them, whether I’m good at them or not.
I like where Albert is going with this… having to define what we are going to be at 18 seems insane. For that matter, having to define ourselves at any age seems a little weird because we are constantly changing and learning new things. I honestly have NO idea how I’ll be spending my days a year from now. Or maybe that is weird?
Anyway, great post and thanks for including the Steve Martin interview. He’s a wise soul, that one.
Lisis | Quest For Balance’s most recent blog post..Adventure: Aim To Help, Learn To Love
I’m totally with you on the importance of finding and nurturing our unique voices; I spend a lot of my coaching and writing life encouraging folk to do just that. I also think the beauty of growing and evolving as people is that we learn to sing a variety of songs with our unique voices – both alone and harmonising with others – throughout our lives.
Lovely post, Nadia, as always. I remember the Mary Tyler Moore theme tune from when it was on TV!
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@ Adam – I am happy that you liked the post and thank you for sharing your experiences with writing. It is so important to find our own voice and you made a great point that it changes depending on the circumstances we find ourselves in life.
That is so true.
@ Lisis – I am so happy that you enjoyed the interview and the post. I personally think that we never stop growing. To stop growing would mean stagnation and stagnation is never good. The way I understood the term “be undeniably good” is that when you find something that fills your heart with joy, do it to the best of your ability. Good for you for knowing what you enjoy!
@ Janice – Thank you so much for all the kind words regarding my post. You made a great point in your comment. It is important to not only find our voices but to nurture them, too. I think we forget about the importance of nurturing in our lives because everything seems to be so fast these days.
Hi Nadia,
This is so true. We need to find out what we are. But there is no any particular method for that. I was somewhat good in studying.So I passed the A/L exam and have been selected to an university for a degree in Engineering. But now I have found that I don’t love this mathematics and highly technical things much. I love to write more than that. It’s really difficult to find out our true self. And it needs a great courage too.
Have a nice day!
Vikum’s most recent blog post..Uncovering
Often the hardest step is believing this for ourselves. I was taught to hide myself away and not get noticed in case I got shot down. But what kind of way is that to live? We are all good in our uniqueness.
I read a quote by Suzuki some years ago that said something like – We all have a shining light in us to shine on the world. Just make sure that people know where to find you.
Ian | Quantum Learning’s most recent blog post..Power of beliefs
I love this post. I agree with Ian’s comment that it’s often hard to believe in ourselves. We may figure out what it is we want to do or what we’re good at, but a lot of people have a hard time believing they can do it. Confidence is so important, and, as I’ve discussed on my blog before, so is taking action. It’s so easy to say, “I want to do that,” and then sit around and do nothing. If you want to do something and you want to be good, you have to make an effort and sometimes this can be really difficult.
Positively Present’s most recent blog post..change your attitude, change the world
@ Vikum – There is no particular method to find out who you are…you have to see what feels right to you and listen to your heart. Sometimes when we try to push things or we try too hard to find something, it never works. When the time is right, you will be guided as to what to do. Only you can know when it is time. You also have to be able to tune into your inner voice. I do not know about you but every time I ignored my inner voice, I ended up getting in some really tough situations. So follow your heart and yes, it does take courage!
@ Ian – We all do have a light to shine on the world. I have no doubt in my mind about that fact. Like you, my life experiences taught me to play it safe so that I would not get shot down with criticism or whatever. After a while, I realized that is no way to live. In the words of Marianne Williamson: “who are you not to shine?” We are meant to shine and by not shining, we are wasting this precious gift of being alive. So shine away, my friend! You have a lot to offer!
@ P.P. – Glad you loved the post. Actually, I will be publishing a post this week on the very point you just made.
What I will say now is what someone once told me: “if you want something badly enough, you will do something to get it. If you don’t do anything, then you don’t want it badly enough.”
Hi Nadia — thanks for this post. One thing I think it illustrates is that, no matter what goal you’re pursuing, it’s necessary to have some conviction that you can actually make a contribution to the world. No matter what you do with your life, you can always think of other people who are doing something similar, and thus it’s easy to back down and say “it’s already been done.” Moving beyond this mindset and recognizing that you are unique seems important.
Hi Chris,
I am happy that you liked the post and I loved what yo wrote. People forget that we are each unique and we each have something to offer. The world is big enough for all of us and there is enough room for everyone to contribute something that is a reflection of who we are.
This is a great day to visit your blog. I discovered so much about you in one gulp! I’ve had many voices over the years. Sometimes I only needed to go with the flow and other times I was stuck and discovered what I needed at the time.
I love blogging and coaching and it will be exciting to see what other voices lie ahead for me.
Great post!
Tess The Bold Life’s most recent blog post..Magical Mondays Make Them 1/7 Of Your Life
Hi Tess!
Thank you so much for all the kind words and for sharing your experiences. Your love for blogging and coaching is apparent which is awesome!
I didn’t realize that writing can prove to be so healing for me. I used to write on stock markets for credit analysis while working in a bank. It got me started in realizing I enjoyed research and writing. But it didn’t quite dawn on me that words I publish can be used to motivate, inspire and create positive changes. I’m glad that I know it now.
Evelyn Lim’s most recent blog post..The Masquerade Play Of Life
Hi Nadia
I love the message of this post. “No two snowflakes are alike.” When I frist started to blog I had a PHD emailed me, and she was very upset with me. She attacked me and told me to stop writting, she said I had no business to write anything. But I kept writing, who cares I am not a skill writer. I am what I am, a Chinlish writer! And that is OK by me
Thank you,
Giovanna Garcia
Imperfect Action is better than No Action
Giovanna Garcia’s most recent blog post..What your family really want is quality time and love.
@ Evelyn – Writing can be healing, I have found that to be true, too. Even more importantly, writing can help others as you mentioned and I am happy that writing has brought you such joy!
@ Giovanna – I am so happy that you loved the post! Good for you for listening to your heart and being true to yourself! That is awesome!
@ Giovanna – Tell that PHD that they are a Pretty Huge Doofus
@ Everyone else – I know I don’t chime in much but I always read all your comments and love you all for supporting Nadia’s blog
Have a Miracle Day!
Hi Jacob of Nadia & Jacob,
You are so sweet…no wonder I love you as much as I do.
I have to heartily agree with both points in this post – and in the comments. At 25 I had my major life crises – I realized I had spent 25 years of my life in a vain attempt to please the abusers in my family and marriage and no one was happy – but most especially, I was suicidally miserable. I walked away from all that and have been exploring ever since – and what an adventure it has been. I am a “journey not the destination” person, so I’ll probably always be exploring and learning and changing. So yes, it’s very strange that we expect someone to know what they want when they are 18. Having said that – when I was a small child I told people I wanted to write and illustrate my own books…guess what I’m doing – and loving it (but, of course, all the people in my life told me that could not be done). I just recently started reading your blog, but it is quickly become a favorite – keep up the good work!
Summer Foovay’s most recent blog post..Wheee – a day off – catching up
Hi Summer!
Good for you for going after what you wanted, changing your life around and making your dreams come true! Woo hoo!!!
I love stories like that and thank you for sharing it. Also, thank you so much for what you said about my blog. It means so much! 
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