To All The Wonder Women In The World

I was standing in line recently in the supermarket where I had an interesting realization. The woman in front of me had three children, was dressed in a suit, had a rock of a wedding ring on her hand, she was talking on her mobile phone to her assistant, and doing all of this while unloading her shopping cart. It appeared that her children knew not to talk when their mom was on the phone and they were totally well-behaved. I was impressed by her efficiency.

To the right of me, in another line, was another woman with kids but she did not have her children under control. She stared at the woman I described above with what appeared to be envy. Her wedding ring was simple and she was not as well dressed. It was obvious that she was in desperate need of a break.

In the line to my left, was a young woman who was talking on her mobile phone and she was complaining about the lack of decent men. She was frustrated that she was not married and that she wanted to have it all. She then expressed doubt at the possibility of ever having it all.

Looking at all these women, I could not help but feel compassion for all of them. I mean…we all want it all but we each have a different definition of what having it all means. I was raised by a mother who stayed at home most of the time. She worked as a nurse part time and I know there were times in her life where she wished she had a full time career. She did not complain often about it but it was obvious that she had a lingering feeling that maybe she should have devoted more time to having a career. She would say that her career was her family and that was the end of the discussion.

I have to admit that when I was growing up, I thought my dad had the better end of the deal. He would get all dressed up in a suit and go to the city. In the meanwhile, my mom would spend her day taking care of the house and us. Then my dad would come home and he would talk about his adventures. He would share his stories about the people he met and all the wonderful things he did at the office.

I was so impressed with the concept of “the office”, I begged my dad to take me to work one day. Eventually he did and I thought he had the best gig in the world. He was never bored because he did so many things. I swore to myself I would not be like my mom. Goes to show you, I was young and had no clue what I was thinking. It must have hurt my mom at that time to know that her daughter was more impressed with her father than with her.

Years later when my mom became sick with terminal cancer, I decided to quit my job and take care of her. My husband and I moved back to my parent’s house and I took over the care of the house. Let me tell you, it was one of the hardest jobs I have ever done.

I remember after two weeks, I apologized to my mom for not realizing how much she did for us when we were out doing our things. She smiled and accepted my apology. I asked her if she still felt bad about not having a career. She did say that there were times that she did but because of facing the fact of not surviving cancer, she felt at peace with how she had lived. She did the best that she could with what she knew.

Hearing her talk about that made me realize that it is stupid for society to judge those who decided to stay at home. Sometimes, career women will look down at women who stay at home. Sometimes men do that, too. Some women who stay at home will judge the women who go to work. Everyone is judging each other. It is truly a shame that what stay-at-home moms do on a daily basis is not valued because there is no official salary. It is heart breaking. In my mind, mothers are CEOs of their families. Being a CEO is a tough job whether it is a corporation or a family. Multi-tasking is an art form.

In Buddhism, it is believed that every person you meet at one time or another, has been your mother in a past life. So they believe that you should treat each person as you would treat your mother. So since Mother’s Day is this weekend, please use that day to treat everyone you meet as kindly as you would your mother.

To all the mothers out there; enjoy your special day! You deserve it! And to every woman out there, you are a wonder woman. Don’t ever forget it! And as for the men out there, you are all super men! However, next month is your month so I will focus on you then!