My mother was Catholic and I remember learning about the devil and finding it curious. Was there really this one person who was so evil? Where did he live? Was he really red with horns? Why was he red and why did he have horns?
I never got any answers to my questions. I once heard Marianne Williamson say that it would be great if the devil lived somewhere really far away but in reality it lives in between your ears. Your brain is not the devil but your mind, when it is filled with all kinds of negative thoughts is the devil in action.
Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth emphasized the point that we are not our thoughts. Our thoughts are an expression of our ego which would rather see us miserable than happy. The ego is very scared that we will become aware of how truly awesome we all are. You are an amazing creature who can do wonders if you simply believe in yourself. No one is a failure unless they believe that they are.
No one can successfully get rid of the ego but we can learn to live with it. I always think of my ego as being this little girl who just has to nag. So whenever she starts to nag, I listen to what she has to say. When she is done, I thank her for sharing her thoughts. Sometimes this is very easy to do but other times, when there is a feeling of fear, it is quite hard to shut her up.
The majority of negative thoughts are based on fear and the ego thrives on it. We are bombarded with fear and many of our actions are based on our fears. I have seen people use The Club (a gadget you put on the steering wheel of your car so that no one can drive off with it) although their car has a security system and they are parking it in a neighborhood that has no crime. Some may consider that smart but I think that is a bit too much precaution. Yes, be cautious when need be but do not be paranoid.
Here is a poem that I think beautifully describes how we should handle our fears:
See Paris First
Suppose that what you fear
could be trapped
and held in Paris.
Then you would have
the courage to go
everywhere in the world.
All the directions of the compass
open to you,
except the degrees east or west
of true north
that lead to Paris.
Still, you wouldn’t dare
put your toes
smack dab on the city limit line.
You’re not really willing
to stand on a mountainside,
miles away,
and watch the Paris lights
come up at night.
Just to be on the safe side
you decide to stay completely
out of France.
But then the danger
seems too close
even to those boundaries,
and you feel
the timid part of you
covering the whole globe again.
You need the kind of friend
who learns your secret and says,
“See Paris First.”
-Marsha Truman Cooper
originally appeared in River City, Spring 1989
As someone who wants everyone to be happy and at peace with their own inner issues, I take it upon myself to be the one to tell you: “See Paris First”. Because once you do that, the world becomes your playground.
Note: My newest article Sympathy vs. Compassion is now available at Elephant Journal.
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Ego is software we need to function on this physical plane. Like other software, it acts up, but we can’t do without it. It gets a virus, freezes, won’t start up…In the end it’s part of us & necessary for 3D life.
So, welcome it to the team that is you. It has essential functions. Let it know that it’s part of a team, has a place, but not to overreach. As long as you have the reins and ego feels safe, all is good. There’s actually a way to have ego receive instruction and improve itself. To blend into the greater you.
And a healthy ego is needed as a foundation for spiritual growth . I don’t mean healthy in the sense that one is all “ego,” but healthy in the sense that there’s basic psychological balance. Trying to build spiritually on an unbalanced foundation has unexpected dangers looming.
So befriend your ego and tell it to take its place, but not more.
Pamir | Reiki Help Blog’s most recent blog post..Reiki One-Liner now at 200
Hi Pamir!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the ego. You described it in a very interesting way and it was really interesting. Hope all is awesome!
Nadia,
I love the poem!
I’m sure you know that Buddhism teaches the same thing – we are not our thoughts. It’s easy to say and understand, but difficult to accept on a gut level. Our ego always fights the idea.
I sound like a one trick pony, but meditation helps you realize at a gut level that we are not our thoughts.
Roger – A Content Life’s most recent blog post..Meditation for Beginners (Week 5) – Walking Meditation
Hi Roger,
The ego will do whatever it can to not lose its power but at least we can be aware of it. And meditation rocks!
I believe our mind is like that “junk drawer” that we all have in our house… you know, the one where everything ends up until we take the time to sort through it and make sense of it. A lot of what is in there is useless, or needs to be gotten rid of. The good stuff needs to be found and acted on.
Same with thoughts… sort out the junk, keep the rest. And I’ve been to Paris, so now I get to see the world, right?
Lisis’s most recent blog post..Why Religion Is Irrelevant
Hi Lisis,
Always looking for a loophole, huh?
Great visual on how the mind is like a junk drawer!
What you write about is very Buddhist. I’m not sure I agree with it, just as I’m not sure I agree with all of Buddhism. The way I see it, it’s one of those things that I think can work for some people, but not everyone. It’s too intangible for me. But it’s an interesting point nonetheless, and if it works for you, then that’s wonderful.
Vi | Maximizing Utility’s most recent blog post..On Loving Yourself
Hi Vi,
No worries!
There is no one right way to live. Just do and use whatvever resonates with you.
SUCH an important post. Thank you SO much for writing about this here.
Positively Present’s most recent blog post..happiness (is not) for sale!
Hi Dani,
You are most welcome.
It is very hard to get rid of our ego. I know that I have done some bad things in life but I just couldn’t accept that I have committed those.
Paul /Palabuzz’s most recent blog post..Aljur Abrenica harrased a non showbiz girl
Hi Paul,
You are not alone in that feeling. I think it is great you are aware of it and that you had the courage to share that awareness with all of us!
I love A New Earth, and think folk here would love it, too. There are a lot of definitions of ego but I like the way he takes whole books to explore them.
I was drawn to the book because of my passion for helping people find their life’s purpose. When people are fully present and engaged doing what they love, they become immersed in now. They’re a joy to be around. Other people feel connected to that kind of positive energy and it stops people feeling so separate. Doing what you love, instead of thinking how separate we all are, unites people.
Tolle points out that egos thrive on separation and identification and are constantly trying to emphasise their separateness, protect themselves and expand. That separation leads to suffering. As you say, Nadia, one of the best ways to deal with all of the pain caused by the ego is to step outside of the thoughts and be aware of them. Being ego driven is like being in a dream and not knowing you’re dreaming. We can’t become aware until we step outside the thoughts we’ve become identified with and really start living in the now and feeling at one with others, with life. Being present really is the key.
Just like we’re not our thoughts, we’re not our blog stats either.
A really enjoyable, thought provoking post!
janice’s most recent blog post..Back Up, Pass On…
Hi Janice!
Amen to all that you shared.
There is nothing more I can say except that the ego separates and divides. While in reality we are all one!
Some really good definitions of ego here — a nagging little inner girl (my favorite!), a 3D software program, a piece of junk in a messy drawer, a dream-like thing. Such creative thinking. No wonder I keep coming back here. The poem alone was worth the trip today. Thank you so much for all you do, Nadia. I think I better understand who that grouchy granny in my head is now.
Brenda’s most recent blog post..Supreme State
Hi Brenda,
You are most welcome and it is wonderful to know that the post provided some insight!
Very well said.
We can’t get rid of thoughts or the ego–nor do we need to. Awareness–passive watchfulness–helps us see through thoughts and beliefs and the ego.
You’re so right: fear is the entire problem of the human condition. In the absence of fear, there is only love, and we see it has always been there, waiting for us.
Contrary to the conventional spiritual wisdom, releasing fear permanently is actually very easy. It’s funny–awakening is about seeing through beliefs, and ironically, it’s the spiritual-minded who firmly hold on the the belief that awakening is difficult, or it takes years of meditation, or specialized spiritual knowledge, or that people have to prepared, or that people have to suffer enough before they can awaken.
Overturn the conventional spiritual assumptions. Fear is easily released. Getting in the flow of awakening is simple.
Kaushik’s most recent blog post..“Cease to Cherish Opinion” – 6th Awakening is Simple book excerpt
Hi Kaushik,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts regarding the importance of awareness and letting go of fear.
Getting those thoughts right is hard. There are times when I have no confidence and there are times when I am over confident. When my thoughts are realistic I have the courage to strive for whatever it is I want to achieve.
Paisley’s most recent blog post..The Last Word
Hi Paisley,
In my experience, the best thing a person can do is to not judge your thoughts. Just observe them and see how they make you feel and whatever else comes to mind. If you put too much pressure to have a “right” thought, you may end up not having it. A thought really does not have much power until you put your feelings into and act upon it.
Hi Nadia,
Our mind, our ego – and the fear we too often succumb to – I’ve been there. And so often, the fear is completely unfounded. And it all keeps us from the true happiness that lies within us all. I love the poem, and it’s message. I’m off to Paris!
Lance’s most recent blog post..Flip It
Hi Lance,
You are absolutely right that fear is what prevents us from true happiness that exists in every single one of us. As for you heading to Paris, YAY!
You know that’s what my mother always said – that any anger or pessimissim was the devil. Catholic too.
Thanks Nadia. I never realised I judge my thoughts.
Paisley’s most recent blog post..The Last Word
Hi Paisley,
You are welcome. Please know that you are not alone in judging your thoughts. We all have done it.
Wow, I’m not much for poetry, but that is an AWESOME poem. And a great point, I’d like to hear more from you about your opinions about the ego. I think you’re dead on, Nadia. Thanks for the inspiration!
Trey – Swollen Thumb Entertainment’s most recent blog post..Did Nintendo Sell Out?
Hi Trey,
You are most welcome and I am so happy that you liked the poem especially since you are not a big fan of poetry.
As for the ego, I plan to write more posts on the issue. So stay tuned!
Hope all is well.
Love the poem, Nadia.
Having tried (and failed!) to control my thoughts, I’ve found it much more fruitful to control my relationship to them. I find a healthy separation between me and my thoughts works wonders in differentiating those worth spending time with and those worth letting go.
Ian | Quantum Learning’s most recent blog post..Life: powerful and fragile
Hi Ian,
I love the poem too. Good for you for discovering a method that allows you to have a separation between you and your thoughts. That is awesome!
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