One of the places that I have always wanted to visit has been Hawaii. I was in Honolulu for my second birthday but as you can imagine, I have no memory of it. So for many years it was a dream to head back there. I have no idea why I felt so drawn to go there except that I knew I had to see it again. Usually, when I feel something that deeply, I know there is a reason behind it even though it may not be apparent at first glance.
Last October, the dream came true and off we went. It was love from the moment I saw Oahu (the island where Honolulu is located) from the airplane window. The love only increased as the days went by and it truly felt like home. The smells, the pace, the food and everything else could not have been more perfect.
The people were so friendly and laid back. When people drive in Honolulu, no one is in a rush. They actually follow the speed limit, which is 25 miles per hour in most areas. When the sign says “don’t walk”, people wait for it to change even if there is no traffic. The only rudeness I ever encountered was from other tourists. Each day was sunny and warm. Each day held a new adventure and discovery.
In all my travels, which have been numerous (I have been to five of the seven continents), I was never more at ease than when I was in Honolulu. In the week that we were there, I did not once feel out of harmony with who I am as a person. I felt a tremendous amount of peace. Everything just felt calm and serene.
Happiness is a state of mind rather than being in a particular location. I learned that a long time ago but being in Hawaii was the first time when I felt like every part of who I am was in tune with my surroundings. I felt total peace. It takes a lot to upset me but to be at this level of peace was unlike anything I had ever experienced.
As it got closer to our departure date, I began to ponder more and more why I felt so much more harmonious in Honolulu than at home. I am not the kind of person who gets stressed out and I rarely get angry or lose my temper. I am very laid back but the person I was in Honolulu was nothing like the person I was at home.
Initially, I thought the reason for the difference was that there was no job to rush to in the morning and there was no pressure of bills and other obligations of daily living. I basically figured that the reason I felt so unified was because I was on vacation and that is what vacations are like.
As we boarded the plane to go home, a part of me just wanted to get off and just stay in Aloha Land but logic prevailed. My boss was waiting for my return as was my dad and my friends. I knew that as much as I would have loved to stay, I had to return back to my reality.
When we got back home, it was funny. It took me a few days to get out of the habit of saying “aloha” or “mahalo” to everyone. It also took me a few days to adjust to the crankiness and the lack of warm temperatures. On my first day back at work, one of my co-workers took one look at me with my tan and did not talk to me for two days straight, even though she had to walk by me every day many times. I guess my heightened level of happy glow was just too much for her to handle. Normally, this might have bothered me, but I was still in a Hawaii state of mind so I let it go.
Eventually, I got back into my routine. The tan gradually faded as did the immense peacefulness that I felt. Basically, I got back to the old routine which was expected considering that I was no more on vacation.
Two weeks ago, for reasons which I don’t recall, I began to think a lot about our time in Hawaii. Ever since getting back, we have talked about our trip at length and about the fun we had. However, this time, my thoughts of Hawaii had more to do with how I felt when I was there. I began to wonder why couldn’t I feel that way all of the time.
I am fortunate to know a few people who really love their lives and feel in harmony with everything in their life. Combine that with many years of reading numerous biographies of people who have achieved the same goal, last week was the week when I really started to deeply think about why some people are in total harmony and others are not.
In my relatively short life, I have been through my share of challenges. We all have. I have come a long way from who I used to be. I easily consider myself a happy and optimistic person but I am very well aware that I could be much better.
Whenever I look at my career and surroundings they seem at such odds with who I really am. This lack of harmony never really bothered me because I have always been at peace with the contradictions that exist within me. We all have aspects within us that may seem contradictory and the best way to deal with them is to make peace with them and see if any of those contradictions can be solved.
For me, the desire to solve this particular contradiction has been on the forefront of my mind and soul. I feel like I need to see what I can do to resolve this issue. Some problems in life can be taken care of overnight. Others require a process. I have come to see that the process of resolving the issue of making my career and surroundings in harmony with who I am is something that will take time.
I know that I am not alone in this issue. Here are some points that come to mind about leading a life that is in harmony with every aspect of your being:
Visualize the ideal life that you want to have
We all know the kind of life we would love to have if it were not for bills and other responsibilities that we claim take priority. As much as people do not love their jobs, I seriously do not think that people can find happiness in sitting around doing nothing all of the time. We all want to be useful and have a life of meaning. So see what is the kind of life that speaks to your truth and soul.
Take Baby Steps
If your ideal life seems like a pipe-dream or requires many steps to achieve, then start taking some steps towards your goal. It does not have to be a huge step, like moving to another country right away but at least do something that starts you on your way to making your dream life a reality.
Be Patient and Positive
Rome was not built in a day and neither is your dream life. Have the resolve to do what you need to do each day to get to where you want to go. Some days may be harder than others but don’t let a bad day rob you of your spirit and hope. One reason why some people succeed and others don’t is that some just do not have the perseverance to make their dreams a reality.
Surround Yourself with Like Minded People
The great thing about the Internet is that you can communicate with people who live thousands of miles away. Surround yourself with people who have similar goals or who at least think like you. One Indian spiritual teacher said that you can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep. So if you want to be a successful writer, hang out with other like minded writers.
Life is so full of possibilities and there truly is no logical reason why a person cannot have a life that is fully representative of who they truly are. There is no reward in living life small and there is no sense in being afraid. Those who have the richest lives (and that has nothing to do with money) usually think big and overcome their fears. If they can do it, we can do it, too.
Note: To read more about the reasons behind my new schedule change, click here.
{ 42 comments }
Wow, first of all, I really want to visit Oahu. (I have ever since watching “Basic Training With Ada Janklowicz” on ESPN as a 14-year old!) Your description of how you felt when you were there was engrossing.
I like what you wrote about creating a life that’s in harmony with all of who you are. And the idea of vacation being a state of mind. 18 months ago I wrote down an affirmation that I kept on an index card. It said, “My life feels like one big vacation. I’m doing what I love, in the places I love, with the people I love, on a schedule I love and am getting paid to basically be myself and spread joy throughout the world.” Six months later, I was promoted by my company and took over a department, which meant traveling all over the US to places I’d never been before. Nine months after that I made the decision to quit the corporate world (and effectively resign my job), and ever since … Life has felt like one big vacation!
Dreams come true. When we hold what we want in our hearts & minds, the Universe has to conspire to bring about the circumstances that make it a reality.
Thank you for writing such a wonderfully inspiring post, and I can’t wait to read about your own dreams coming true along these lines!
.-= Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s last blog ..How God Talks To Us =-.
Hi Megan,
I used to watch that Basic Training show too. That is so funny that you mentioned that. It seems like many yoga videos and other workout stuff are filmed there. The scenery could not be more perfect. I hope you get a chance to visit. It truly is paradise. The water is so warm and the people are really great too.
Thank you so much for sharing with all of us how your affirmation came true. I believe in the power of affirmations and visualization. It is always great to hear about how someone made an affirmation and how it came true. I am so happy for you! Yay!
I know that the decision to quit from such a job is not an easy one but I think it is awesome that you followed your heart and it is even more awesome that you feel that life is one big vacation. May more people learn from you. Dreams do come true. I have no doubt about it. Many of mine have come true and I look forward to the road ahead for all of us.
Hi Nadia,
this post really resonates with me, as I am also trying to harmonise what I do with who I am. And I believe that it will happen too, as long as we hold the intention and as you say, take baby steps.
And I love Megan’s affirmation – I’m going to borrow that if I may!
.-= Hilda´s last blog ..Don’t be afraid of making a mistake =-.
Hi Hilda,
Megan’s affirmation was a great one. I am sure she would not mind you using it. We all can learn from one another and that is what is great about blogging.
I am happy to know that you are also trying to harmonize what you are doing with you are. I have no doubt that you and I both will get to where we want to be. We can also cheer each other on too!
And then celebrate too when it happens! 
Hawaii has been on my mind for several months now. It’s almost like it’s calling me, I can’t explain it. I’ve been thinking about a way to move there since the beginning of this year. I’ve never been before, but it just feels like “home” to me. I’ve been reading a lot about it, and especially the native spiritual beliefs, and it just seems right for me to go there. I’ve even considered going back to school at the University of Hawaii to get a degree in religious studies, because they have such an integrated Eastern-Western philosophy outlook. I’ve also been working with my day-job to possibly get transferred there, and I’ve been researching some of the non-profits in Honolulu to see if there might be one I could help out.
Mainly, I’m just trying to be patient and see if the force that’s pulling me there will reveal the path.
.-= Jay Schryer´s last blog ..Lazy Summer Days =-.
Aloha Jay!
Thank you so much for being so open with all that you are experiencing. I know what you mean about the feeling of being called there. I feel that too but I also know (in my case) it is not time yet. I think the reasons for why you are being called to go there, will become more apparent with each step. Life has a way of taking us where we need to go and the pieces will fall into place just as they are supposed to do. Maybe you and I, one day, will both be residents of Aloha Land!
Hey, Nadia!
I’m so glad you posted this today. I’ve been on a mini-vacation this weekend… nothing like Hawaii, but enough to be away from the Internet for 3 days straight, and behind on all my regular to-dos at home. I’m struggling with the “getting back to real life” part and fully experiencing that contrast between vacation bliss and real life… stuff! What IS this stuff?! How did it get here and fill up my to do list?
That’s what makes vacations so blissful for me, is not thinking about any of the regular things I need to think about, and simply existing from moment to moment… like a kid. “Oooh… what’s THAT? I want to go there! I want to try this! I want to do nothing.” All my wants packed into a couple of days, with all of my responsibilities omitted.
But alas, at some point vacation has to end… or does it?
.-= Lisis´s last blog ..Adventure: From the Heartland to the Front Lines =-.
Hi Lisis,
If you had asked me that question a year ago, I would have said that the vacation has to come to an end. However, now, I think a person can be in a vacation state of mind all the time. Actually, we are supposed to be but we have complicated our lives so much that we think that is normal. I read somewhere that cortisol (the stress chemical in the body) is only intended to be released rarely such as when we are in danger or someone we love is in danger. But due to the stress of our lives, cortisol is constantly being released and that is not normal. So I am aiming for a vacation state of mind as a way of life.
I love this post! Happiness is definitely a state of mind, as you said, and I love the tips you’ve given for being in a vacation state of mind all the time. Awesome!
.-= Positively Present´s last blog ..a happy life is not a perfect life =-.
Hi Dani,
Glad you liked the post and may you always be happy!
Hi Nadia,
What a nice post! I’m planning on visiting Hawaii later this year. I went once when I was a child and I don’t really remember much of that trip. I hope to have as nice of a time as you did.
.-= Vi | Maximizing Utility´s last blog ..Thinking of durable goods as durable =-.
Hi Vi,
Good for you for heading to Aloha Land later on this year. Which islands are you heading to? If you want any suggestions or have any questions before you trip, please feel free to contact me. I know Oahu like the back of my hand. We rented a car and drove all over. We did some of the traditional touristy stuff but for the most part, we went off the path quite a lot and it was a blast. I hope you as have much as fun we did.
Hi Nadia,
I’m so glad you posted this. Boy, I think I could use a vacation at Hawaii right now. I’ve been really thinking about how I’ve been contradicting myself in so many ways lately that maybe my mind’s been a bit ‘overworked’.
While what has passed… has passed (no turning back), I’m trying to harmonise with who I am and my surroundings. You know, being more at peace with myself and focus on the life I want instead of the past… that’s why I’m so happy reading your post today.
Thanks for the helpful pointers Nadia! Great reminders for being in positive state of mind.
.-= Grace´s last blog ..Do your goals come with excess baggage? =-.
Hi Grace,
I am happy to know that the post was of help.
I recently was reminded of how it is so easy to either dwell on the past or worry about the future. I think we all struggle with that from time to time. I truly do not think anyone is fully immune from doing that so don’t be hard on yourself. I think the fact that you are aware of the inner contradictions is a good thing and everyone has them. To feel bad about them really does not do anything except make you head hurt or as you put it, “overworked”. Btw, that sentence of yours made me laugh which I so much needed. Thank you, Grace!
The Dalai Lama says go somewhere where you’ve never been at least once a year. Being in a different place with different people broadens perspective, and we don’t take life quite so seriously. The ego relaxes.
You’re absolutely right we can be in this state all the time. Simply release and be aware–people say it in different ways but it all always points to the gentle, unoccupied, present awareness that we already are.
.-= Kaushik´s last blog ..Being Present – 9th excerpt from Awakening is Simple, and Closing =-.
Hi Kaushik,
The first part of your comment reminds me of the saying “amazing what a change of scenery can do”.
I think why people enjoy vacations so much is that they take the time to relax and for many people, it is hard to relax when they have so much to do. It truly does boil down to a matter of perception which implies awareness. 
I’ll have to email you about this one; I twitch to ask questions if someone talks with this level of resonance about a place and isn’t making plans to manifest a new reality that includes it. I would love to see you there and happy although I’m completely with you on identifying what the elements of your special places are and trying to get them into daily life.
I’ve never got over my time in Greece. I first moved there in 1982 and even when I no longer lived there, I worked there part of every year until my daughter was born. Once in all that time, I missed a year. I felt ill, like an addict needing a fix. I’m very clear why I raise my family here, but my soul found a home there.
.-= janice´s last blog ..Connected and Encouraged =-.
Hi Janice,
Looking forward to the email!
It is obvious based on how you write about Greece whether it is comments or on your blog, it is so clear how Greece has touched your heart. I think Chania Girl is the same way too. It is wonderful to know that you found a place on this beautiful planet that spoke to your soul. What a blessing!
Nadia,
Enjoyed your article and most of all enjoyed this line, “On my first day back at work, one of my co-workers took one look at me with my tan and did not talk to me for two days straight, even though she had to walk by me every day many times. I guess my heightened level of happy glow was just too much for her to handle.”
The way people react can be really funny at times.
.-= Sunny Jamiel´s last blog ..Life, Circles and the Shift =-.
Hi Sunny,
I agree…people certainly do act in some funny ways at times.
Goes to show you, that when someone is so immersed in their pain, it is hard to see beyond their little world.
Fabulous post Nadia! We all seem to glow like the shining stars that we are when we take a vacation. It’s that peaceful, serene feeling that we all love to have – not just on a trip away but ALL the time. It’s such a mind game, really. The best “souvenir” we can ever bring back from a trip is that mental state isn’t it?
We have the fortunate opportunity to have a little house on a lake in Northern Wisconsin. For years it was my hideaway. I would live through the year just dying for the escape of it, the freedom there, the relaxation – actually convincing myself I could never achieve that here.
Boy our minds are powerful! While I still truly enjoy the change of scenery now, I am no longer having the thoughts of that place as being my salvation of any kind. We don’t necessarily have to change locations – just change our minds!
.-= suzen´s last blog ..Starting Over and Getting the Critic OUT =-.
Hi Suzen,
I love your sentence about how the best souvenir from a trip is our mental state. So true!
For so many years, I thought happiness would be found in a certain location. I always thought it was external. I then came to see that happiness is a state of mind. We can truly have vacation state of mind all the time if we choose to go that route. Sounds like you have reached the same conclusion. Yay!
Thx for such a nice post…..i enjoyed it too.wish ppl in india could learn something about civic n traffic sense from people of Hawai.u gave a beautiful description of the place in your wriitngs.feels like been there myself.
Regards to u
Manish
Hi Manish,
I am so happy that this post made you feel like you have been to Hawaii yourself. That is a wondeful compliment. Thank you.
When we lived in India, I always found it funny how everyone is always honking their horns. By the way for those that do not know, in India when you put your car in reverse, a song is played from your car. That is how people know a car is backing out. I swear this is true and people can pick the song that they want played too.
Nadia,
Beautiful post as always. I think the Northeast US where you and I live is too frenetic. Hawaii sound like the opposite.
I like your idea about surrounding yourself with like-minded people. It’s one of the best things you can do and no matter where you live you can usually find at least a few compatible people.
.-= Roger – A Content Life´s last blog ..8 Thinking Traps =-.
Hi Roger,
Hawaii was the total opposite than here. One day when we were driving around, a guy gave us a double shaka (hang loose) sign as we waited for a light to turn green. That would never happen here.
Nadia:
I can identify with your situation. While my situation does not involve a vacation to Hawaii per se, it involves a time in my life when I felt an incredible sense of being content.
Five years ago I was living in “my dream apartment” and was working in my “dream job.” I lived in a great place, was in a relationship with my girlfriend, and my life seemed to be filled with the right people. It was by no means a perfect life, but I felt a sense of contentment and I was on a creative high. A few years, one breakup and three layoffs later, I was leaving my place to move into another place to take care of an aging parent. That’s where I’m at now.
I look back at those days and try to visualize the feelings and emotions that I had in order to recapture the “magic.” I realize this sense of contentment and “magic” is still within me but feels quite elusive at times. I guess you can say I am trying to get my mojo back, but I am in one of those challenging times in my life. I have learned that everyone goes through this, but the key is how you react to these challenges. I am trying to react and live well.
I am trying to find that same peacefulness that you referred to in your story. I think we can all recapture this sense thanks to your tips and a mental shift. Thanks again for a thought-provoking post!
.-= Tim´s last blog ..Weekend Cheese: Land of the Lost =-.
Hi Tim,
Right before my mother was diagnosed with cancer, I remember being in Chicago and thinking that I was really happy with my life. I loved everything about my existence and was really at peace. Two weeks later, we had to leave Chicago and move in with my parents so that I could take care of my mother.
After my mom passed away, we stayed with my dad for about another ten months so that he could adjust to living on his own. We now live about ten minutes away from him so that I can keep an eye on my dad. It took some time to recapture that feeling of peace that I had in Chicago. There are times when I wish my mom was still alive because life was somewhat simpler. People have no idea how your life changes when a parent dies.
Anyway, I know what you are going through and I know it is not easy but it will not last forever. Nothing usually does. I think the fact that you are aware (which is something I often tell people) is a huge blessing. Because once you are aware, you are then open to change and life/the Universe responds to that in its own way. I have seen it happen in the lives of others and in my own life. Hang in there…you will be fine!
Hi Nadia,
What jumped out at me here is this idea of the company we keep. In fact, I found a real shift ever since I started my blog, a bit over a year ago now. A shift in my own conscious self, as I have become more aware of who “I” really am. In writing, I connect with my soul. And – as you have eluded to – the company you keep – I’ve been blessed with a wonderful community of supporters. And this has all helped me to take those baby steps in the direction I want to go. I’m not there yet, but I’m going down that path. And I’ve felt more peace in the last 9 months than I’ve really ever felt. It’s that feeling of being on vacation…even when you’re not. And this isn’t to say I’m always there. Some days are just plain difficult. However, I am working toward that peaceful state…and I couldn’t be happier!
Nadia, thank you for this today. And for reminding me that I have made progress, and it feels good…
I hope you’re feeling that way right now, like you’re on that Hawaiian island all over again.
.-= Lance´s last blog ..Sunday Thought For The Day =-.
Hi Lance,
Isn’t blogging wonderful? My experience is similar to yours. It is amazing how many wonderful people (and you are one of them, Lance) I have met through my blog. I have made some amazing new friends. Ironically, they all live far away from me yet they are all so close to me in terms of spirit and sentiment.
There is one avatar in India who says that you can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep. When I first read that, I really did not care about it because my focus was on other issues. But now, I have come to see the wisdom in that belief. And you are right, when we are in the right company, we are more inclined to take the baby steps that are needed to achieve our goals…whatever they may be.
I am so happy that this post resonated with you! It means a lot.
I loved the signs they had over in Honolulu — “what’s your hurry? It’s an island.” Come to think of it, this is true of Manhattan too. Maybe somebody should try those signs out over there.
.-= Chris Edgar | Purpose Power Coaching´s last blog ..10 Motivational Metal Masterpieces =-.
Hi Chris,
Excellent and witty point! That was funny. Maybe someone should do that in Mahattan. Better yet, maybe create a huge billboard with that message on it and put it in Times Square. That should get some attention.
Hope all is well!
Hi Nadia
I love the title “Vacation state of mind all the time.” You had me at Hello here
You are right life is short! So we got to do the best with what we have and continue to grow everyday.
If I can do that everyday, than I know I am doing well. Thanks for the tips and wisdom. I love baby steps – it is the begining of all thing.
Thanks,
Giovanna Garcia
Imperfect Action is better than No Action
.-= Giovanna Garcia´s last blog ..The Chief Evangelist for Guy Kawasaki’s Alltop.com =-.
Hi Giovanna,
You are so funny with the whole “you had me at hello”.
Baby steps is where it all starts and pretty soon, they turn into giant leaps.
Wow Nadia! You’ve excelled yourself with this post .. how did you manage to pack so much into it! My wife has a dream to visit Hawaii … but it never really appealed to me until reading this! So my wife thanks you!
You are so right about happiness being a state of mind, but I also think that my surroundings do make a difference. Where I am has a big impact on how easy it is to get into and maintain a positive state of mind.
.-= Ian | Quantum Learning´s last blog ..Heart of business =-.
Hi Ian,
Tell your wife, she is welcome!
I understand what you are saying about the effect that surroundings can have on a person, however, the surroundings are not happiness. Happiness is internal. The surroundings add to the happiness but they are not the source of happiness.
Wow, I know the feeling you’re talking about here. I know I’ve felt it before, I just didn’t know how to keep it going.
I think a lot of the reason people have trouble maintaining that feeling is that they let the people around them drag them down. I know that when I come to work, all it takes is one cranky person to bring me down. It’s hard to ignore the emotions of other people. I think that’s where your tip on surrounding yourself with like mided people comes in.
I’m going to put more effort into that vacation mind set and not let others drag me out of it.
.-= Frances´s last blog ..Roller Coasters =-.
Hi Frances,
I think we all have struggled with this one and like you, I could not figure out how to keep the vacation state of mind until I realized those steps that I wrote in the post. You are right, one cranky person can ruin a happy mood. That has happened to me too and I am always surprised at how unaware the cranky person is especially if they complain about why they never are happy. It is hard to be happy around someone who is so cranky!
Hello Nadia, I’ve vacationed in Hawaii several times. I LOVE it. My favorite is the beautiful island of Kauai. It’s more native Hawaiian than Maui or Oahu. I’m glad you loved it. The only bad experience I’ve had in Hawaii was a car break-in at a tourist spot. Serves me right for going to a tourist trap.
“The great thing about the Internet is that you can communicate with people who live thousands of miles away.”
You are so right. The world is a lot smaller place as a result of the internet. You can even get a little view of Hawaii that way
.-= Stephen – Rat Race Trap´s last blog ..Well-Being is Better Than Happiness =-.
Hi Stephen,
You are absolutely right, you can get a view of Hawaii thanks to the Internet!
I had the exact same connection to Hawaii, so much so that I actually felt a ‘let down’ when I had to leave. My first visit was to Maui when I was 9 with my parents. It was magical, the first time I snorkeled I fell in love, it was like I was on another planet. I returned at 17 to Oahu when I graduated from hi school- we spent an amazing 3 weeks there and I never wanted to leave. Finally my husband and I went to Maui just before we got married. We literally did it on a shoestring, only spending $500.00 and we had the time of our lives.
For a long time I wanted to move there to practice as a massage therapist and herbalist- it was really my life’s dream. Who knows, we still may do it someday!
My soul felt such a wonderful connection there. The energy is amazing. I have always felt a deep connection to the ocean- it is where I feel closest to God, but something about those particular islands is truly special.
Ironically, Hawaii has been on my mind a lot lately too. I don’t think it is just escapism, I truly miss the wholeness and connection that came so easy for me there. I subscribe to an email that alerts me to ‘Hawaii deals’ just the other evening in bed I told my husband, wow- look at this deal, wouldn’t it be great to go!!! We both smiled in silence as we drifted off to sleep. Someday soon we will be going back.
I love your tips by the way:) Especially the last one~ makes all the difference in the world to me!
Hi Angie,
Like you, I dreaded having to go to the airport when our trip came to an end. I just wanted to stay on that island. Not a week goes by, where I do not think about Hawaii. I just loved every aspect of it. I also am someone who loves the ocean and that is where I feel closest to God too. Whenever I am at the beach and I see the awesomeness of the sea, all my concerns and thoughts seem so small in comparison. The ocean just makes me feel peaceful and whole.
I always tell people that if you want to gain perspective on life, just go to the beach and you are immediately reminded of something bigger than yourself. In Hawaii, the ocean is not only warm but so mighty. You can just feel the energy of it. I sure do miss it.
May we both return there sooner as opposed to later! 
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