One concept that I really believe in is that things happen for a reason. Nothing occurs without some cause or meaning. Most of the time we are so caught up in doing, we forget to see what is happening. Only when we are forced to stop, do we begin to take a long look around. Physical ailments are one method that causes us to be on pause and assess what is happening.
“Germs” are always around us and for the most part, we are not effected unless there is an opening of some sort due to being tired, stressed or whatever else can wear the body down.
This week there was a big enough opening within me to have the experience of a body purification that was very intense. When I was 15, I had a severe case of bronchitis which led me to have a near death experience and also left me with exercise induced asthma.
So whenever I workout, I take an inhaler and for the most part, I never have any asthma problems. The bug that got me this week, affected my lungs so much, that my asthma flared up.
Listening to my lungs gasp for air was not pleasant so I drowned out the noise by listening to my iPod or having the fan in the bathroom run. My husband would do whatever he could to keep my mind off my lungs and it was such a blessing to not be alone as I went through all of this.
I will not go into all the details of what I have experienced because there is no need for it. However, what I will say is that I as I lay in bed for almost a week, I realized that I need to make certain changes in my life.
The interesting thing is that many fellow bloggers (Lisis at Quest for Balance and Megan at It’s All About Joy! ) are having similar experiences. I guess I just needed this physical experience to make me see what I need to do.
Facing Reality
One thing that I do like about myself is that I am really aware of why I do what I do. I have never been one of those people who could be unaware of my drama. In my past, I may not always have dealt with my drama but I always knew it was lurking somewhere. Hence, the post I wrote a while ago called Dealing with the Lumps Under the Carpet.
Anyway, the one area of my life that I know I have not mastered fully is my day job. I am keenly aware that my job provides me with so many blessings and gifts. I am very appreciative of those gifts but I sometimes wonder how long can I keep doing this to myself.
For years, I truly enjoyed being a walking contradiction. I will admit there was a time in my life when I secretly derived joy at confusing people because they had one perception, only to be greeted with the opposite. My heroes when I was younger, were all a reflection of this trait.
The idea of being a combination of factors always intrigued me. Human beings can be diverse and there is truly no need to place people in a box. The strange thing is that sometimes we place ourselves into a box of our own creation.
We justify the box creation because of society, our family and whatever else we deem logical. We ignore the inconsistencies because we just do not think that there is anything wrong with it. Until something happens and bam, we are faced with the fact that you really cannot force a circle in a square shape hole.
Mind, Body and Spirit Being One
Many religious and philosophical traditions emphasize the importance of mind, spirit and body being in sync. When mind, spirit and body are in tune with one another, there is no chance for doubt or fear or anxiety to creep in because there is no room.
Not to mention, that once we are in sync, we are better inclined to be able to hear our inner voice and know how to proceed with our lives.
It is always easier to recognize the importance of this in those that you care about but it is far more of a challenge to apply it to yourself and what I have been dealing with this week has made me realize that the time has come for me to start working on changing how I want my life to be like.
The ironic thing is that I know exactly how I want my life to be like. I see it so clearly in my head and in my heart. Yet even though my vision is as clear as can be, I think I have unconsciously placed myself on pause.
How I did this I do not exactly know. What I do know is that sometimes my desire to be a good girl overrides the need to be good to myself. Some people are designed to carry the weight of the world on them and I have always seen myself as that kind of person.
I can take care of everybody but truly ignore my own needs until I am stuck in my bed as I was this week. My husband and friends have been pointing this out to me for years but I never really listened.
Of course, I always knew what they said was right, I just never knew what to do to stop it. How do you change course when you are always on high-speed? It’s kind of hard especially when you have no clue how to put yourself first.
I have no idea how I am going to switch paths but I know that I will. I am currently working on figuring out all the details. One article that has provided an example that makes sense to me is Tina Su’s post on how she changed her career path. Of course, I will make my journey my own but it is good to learn insights from those who have walked this path before me. (For more great resources, check out Mark Foo’s recent post.)
I will keep you posted as I go through this process. I am so happy that I finally made the decision to make some changes. As you may recall in past posts, I have been dealing with this issue for some time and finding a way to see the positive in it. I still see the positive in everything, however, the time has come to stop doing what I have been doing and change course. Thank you so much for joining me on my journey.
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I’m so glad you finally came to your senses!
I’m kidding, but seriously, I’m glad that you’re slowing down and evaluating your life. For as long as I’ve known you (OK, so that’s only like 4 months, but still) you’ve been run, run, run. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s just exhausting. I think you’re overdue for another spiritual retreat/vacation!
Sometimes illness or accidents come into our lives as a message for us to slow down and take some time for ourselves. Spend some time recharging your batteries, so that you’ll have plenty of energy to devote to helping others later.
.-= Jay Schryer´s last blog ..True Confession =-.
Hi Jay,
I totally agree with you the illness and accidents happen for a reason. The minute I got sick, I knew exactly why. Unfortunately, it took something like this to make me do whatever is needed to change paths. So it is a blessing and I really believe that even though it has been tough at times.
As for being on the run, it is kind of hard not to when you have so many demands in your life. Actually, the career aspect is the only negative demand in my life. Everything else is a joy. It is just hard to spend so many hours in an environment that is not in alignment with who I truly am. I always knew that there was not an alignment but I figured I would just deal with it some way. For the most part I have but recently it has gotten to be very difficult and hence, why I had this whole upper respiratory infection.
Life works in interesting ways! Hope all is awesome!
Hi Nadia,
I’m really happy for you that you’ve finally made the decision to make the changes that will lead you to live the life that’s right for you. I have no doubt that you will eventually figure out all the details along the way and I’d definitely look forward to reading about your stories to seek inspiration to stir myself up on my own journey.
Oh… And thank you so much for the mention. I really appreciate it.
Cheers~
Mark
.-= Mark Foo | TheBigDreamer.com´s last blog ..Want To Escape The Rat Race? Learn From Those Who Did =-.
Hi Mark,
You are most welcome for the mention. You did a great job putting together all those resources and I think it could be of great benefit to many other people.
Please know that your support is much appreciated and it should be an interesting ride. I am excited at the road ahead!
Hi, Nadia!
I’m so honored to be one of the witnesses as you continue to walk this part of your journey, and thank you, my friend, for your very kind mention.
When I first read your blog, I thought, “My gosh, what a tremendous earth mother – so compassionate, wise like the goddess, yet strong like the king.” You had me hooked with the first thing I ever read of yours. Your loving energy is all-encompassing, and I know like I know like I know that however you choose to express your truest self, you will shine like the sun and soar like the eagle.
You can’t help it; it’s your nature.
I will support and cheer you on the whole way!
So much love,
Megan
.-= Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s last blog ..For Love Or Money =-.
Hi Megan,
Well, I am honored to be a witness on your path too. The fact that you had the courage to leave your corporate job (with all that came with it) so that you could have a life that you love says a lot about how strong you are. Not many people would do what you did.
Your faith in life and in yourself are such wonderful gifts that make you the Joy Girl that you are. So we are in the journey together and you know I will be cheering you on all the way too!
That’s so great that you’ve made the choice to change. It’s certainly not an easy thing to do, but making a decision that feels right for you is the best thing you can do. I believe, like you, that everything happens for a reason and you have to go with what your gut tells you to do.
.-= Positively Present´s last blog ..7 ways to celebrate summer =-.
Hi Dani,
Thank you for all the kind words and support. I think there comes a time when you are forced to make a decision. And I also believe, that even though you may ignore making the decision, it will catch up with you. I have been feeling like I need to make a change for some time but only until I got as ill as I did, did I realize that I needed to do this now as opposed to later. Life works in interesting ways.
Nadia,
You know, for me part of the whole process is really internalizing it all, and letting it really sink in. And in that case, even though it may not feel like you’ve been moving forward, I really believe you have. Part of that is understanding who you are and what you want. Otherwise you’re just moving that ladder that you’re climbing onto another wall….but is that the right wall for you? So, know that I’m here to support you along your journey, and wherever that takes you, if it’s coming from your heart…that’s the right place to be.
I believe in you Nadia. You are filled with so much goodness and spirit, and I know that the path in front of you is one that will just continue to lead you in that direction you want to go…
Godspeed, my friend…
.-= Lance´s last blog ..Painting The Masterpiece of Our Life =-.
Hi Lance,
Your support and friendship are so much appreciated. I hope that you know that, my dear friend!
I think you made a great point, that although moving forward may not be apparent on the outside, it has been occurring internally. This has been on my mind for a long time but I never made the decision that I would switch paths. I knew that eventually I would but I did not know when or how. Only when this whole upper respiratory infection occurred, did I realize that the time had come to switch gears. I truly know that that is why I had this thing.
Many blessings to you and your family!
I realized yesterday, during a meeting with a very wise man that has helped me before when my world was very dark, that I had been handling my “self” wrong. I, like you, have been carrying the weight of the world, and in doing so, taking, accepting and manifesting blame for much of what has been beating me down in life. You see, I made a difficult change in my life’s path, one so dramatic I called it a “left turn into traffic without a blinker”. But it had to be done – my true self, my spirit, my soul cried out for it.
And thus now I’m working through some of the issues generated by this decision. Everything does happen for a reason, but there must also be balance…AND learning. Why is it the lessons we learn are often so painful?
My wise friend advised me to place the worries, the pain and the lessons in a box, and told me to get myself out of the box with them. That way I can be grateful, happier and the weight of life is lessened….and I can live my new life.
I hope you’re feeling wonderful again soon. I’m thankful for the insights, joy and guidance you always provide. Thanks for a great post. And remember, learning from our “lessons” is the key, along with not making our “studies” a burden upon ourselves.
Stay smiling!
Hi Terrapin Flyer!
Thank you so much for sharing your journey. I could relate to so much of what you wrote. Back in 2004, I made some major decisions and suffered some major consequences from those decisions. Due to those events, I went back to being a lawyer because I pretty much had to do so. It is a long story but I realize that all of those events that took place, have not fully healed. I have been wearing them on my back ever since they occurred and only last month, did I realize that those painful events do not have to be a way life and so I started to work on moving past them.
Then this whole thing happened which sort of just speeded up the process. So you are right, put in a box and put the box away. That is absolutely perfect!
I hope that all is awesome with you and thank you for all the well wishes. It means a lot. And I will definitely stay smiling! I wouldn’t want it any other way!
I know this is the right thing for you… I know it because YOU know it. I especially loved this part of your post:
We justify the box creation because of society, our family and whatever else we deem logical. We ignore the inconsistencies because we just do not think that there is anything wrong with it. Until something happens and bam, we are faced with the fact that you really cannot force a circle in a square shape hole.
THAT is the whole reason why we are making changes in our life right now. Funny how you and I get to face the fork in the road (great photo, btw) together. I guess I will have someone to hold my hand through this… just like I requested in my comment on your last post!
.-= Lisis´s last blog ..Fellowship Fridays: Lance’s Jungle of Life =-.
Hi Lisis,
When you first told me about what you are will thinking of doing, I knew the minute I heard it, that I was going to do something similar. Keep in mind at the time, I had no idea how or when but something inside me said that I was going to do it too. The minute I started to feel sick, I knew why and realized that I needed to change my ways now.
That is so cool about the request! I think your request did come true, we are in this together and I am so happy that I am not alone either!
As you say, things happen for a reason, and in retrospect, everything falls neatly in place, even the seemingly insane turns in life. Frequently, we let ourselves know something is wrong by being sick or depressed.
I’m working on an article called How We Live Life while Awakening, inspired by readers. It seems, when we have an awakening experience, the first thing we do is take on the angst of expectation. What would an awakened person do about this? How would a spiritual person feel about money, job, career? What is the “right” decision? We discover our path, and are certain that this what life meant for us, but life does not stop while we are expanding. Relationships, breakups, sickness, depression, fatness, money problems, family issues, addictions, recidivism continue.
It’s very courageous of you to share your process. I know I will learn from this.
Peace.
k
.-= Kaushik´s last blog ..My Really Big Marketing Mistake or What is this Site all About? =-.
Hi Kaushik,
Courageous or crazy?
Just kidding. Thank you for calling me courageous. I seriously do not think I would be doing this if I had not gotten this infection. Lying on your back for days, makes you see things a bit more clearly.
And you are right, the awakening continues. Hope all is well!
Hi Nadia,
I think that this reevaluating is happening for so many people right now, I was ill a while back, and since have made some major changes in my personal life, and I too know some other bloggers going through similar circumstances.
It is so true that we are forced to stop sometimes when we are not in balance, and unfortunately that is from an illness, because we have put things off for far too long and something has got to give.
It is hard when it feels like the puzzle pieces aren’t fitting, that your souls journey is on hold for some reason and you have come to a crossroads. I will be here with you for that journey- whichever path you choose!
.-= Angie´s last blog ..0711ddebe7fd2b92.jpg =-.
Hi Angie,
You are right, there comes a point when something has got to give and usually we see that when we get ill. It is amazing to me how everything is so connected. Often people think the body, mind and their spirit are separate but they are not.
It is interesting that other bloggers are having similar experiences. Change is in the air for all of us on some level. Thank you so much for being such a wonderful friend and for always being so supportive!
Dear Nadia,
I am a new follower of your blogs… and appreciate so much already how you share from your heart and so openly. I believe our society needs more of this.. for the healing of our world..
I could especially relate to the part where you shared:
“The ironic thing is that I know exactly how I want my life to be like. I see it so clearly in my head and in my heart. Yet even though my vision is as clear as can be, I think I have unconsciously placed myself on pause.
How I did this I do not exactly know. What I do know is that sometimes my desire to be a good girl overrides the need to be good to myself. Some people are designed to carry the weight of the world on them and I have always seen myself as that kind of person.”
pauses can make us so uncomfortable at times,.. ‘if we resist them that is’.
something i read the other day from Cheryl Richardson’s book: The Art of Extreme Self-Care: Transform your life one month at a time – really got me! She was talking of practicing saying ‘i love you’ to yourself in the mirror with conscious intention. it sounds absurd, but the practice truly is to help transform us into a personal consciousness of unconditional love from within..
isn’t it true that we can be so kind to others and yet harsh to ourselves,.. or simply overlook ourselves and our greatest needs, until a crisis hits and we realize just how vulnerable we are. Yet, if we embrace this, we find our greatest strength. what a bizarre surprise, i’ve found!
i truly feel for you in reading of the recent health challenges you had, and the triggers it brought from your past.
i can relate to what you shared..as i was SO chronically sick for 6 mths last year and felt i would die. my life drastically changed for the better since then and i’m living more fully than ever before..
i do still sometimes feel a ‘trigger’ of the painful memories i knew in that time last year.
it’s teaching me to be my own advocate of kindness and not to rely on others for that.. the reality is that we’re all so insecure as humans that its not that others are intentionally mean at times but they just aren’t ready to look into that mirror. we reflect so much to each other.. and anything that feels unsafe or makes us uncomfortable, we just walk away.. isn’t it easier?
i’ve learned when an illness sets in, we can’t run anymore.. we have to face ourselves and realize our greatest needs. its the toughest thing..
when i was younger, i believe i set my role as a shadow angel, and yet as we change our personal belief systems must also.. when we are at that point in our lives where we have responsibility roles that eventually surface to touch other lives more publicly.. we can’t hide away anymore-at least not for good with a clear conscience..for our souls are rising into their highest purpose here.. for our angelic roles have taken a ‘ready-to-shine’ stage.. and others benefit so much more when we are willing to differentiate ourselves and speak up -wholeheartedly.
i just wanted you to know that “you do shine”.. so you can take care of yourself.. while feeling the support of those who truly care.. and you’ll find your balance as you return to yourself and experience the self-nurturance you deserve.
p.s. i do recommend that book i mentioned above! it’s very helpful for those of us who are over-givers and need a little replenishment ourselves
so the well doesn’t run dry 
sincerely, JenZ
Hi Jennifer,
Welcome to Happy Lotus! Thank you so much for the book recommendation. Is that the new book that she has out? I was at the bookstore a couple of weeks ago and saw it. I was going to look through it but then realized that I had to head back to work.
I think the title of the book is pretty powerful and maybe that is what I need at this time. Thank you also for sharing your experiences. There is definitely something powerful that occurs when we get sick. Granted, some people may not see the lesson or wisdom in it but I think for the most part the majority do. I am so happy to know that your life drastically changed for the better since you were sick. That is awesome.
I guess you and I both needed that kick to wake up and do something.
I also loved your turn of shadow angel and how you described it. Thank you for that too. I also appreciate your kind words about me. It is so nice to know that I have such wonderful readers, many who have become friends. It is amazing how truly small the world is and blogging helps make it smaller. 
I hope you are having a beautiful day and I am so happy to have your support.
By the way, I went to your site, I hope your prayers come true with the proposal you sent. 
thanks Nadia
i’m sure we will become friends.. i can totally relate to much of what you share and it is so encouraging! 
i will keep you in my heart with the challenges you are facing.
best wishes to you!! chat soon! 
i read a quote not that long ago that talks about ‘true healing’ taking place when we are ready to inhabit our bodies. you know so many times sadly lol. i’d bump into things or what have you and realize ‘i’m so not present with my life’.. too busy taking care of everyone else.. and now i’m finally at the point where i have to take care of me. and its tough, but rewarding and i realized you know what is so bizarre. the only real commandment that exists is to love our neighbors as ourself. i laughed the other day when i realized. duh! we have to love ourselves before we can full love our neighbors the direct link is totally there, and yet so often overlooked. i’m at that point in m life.. and so i’m learning ‘extreme’ self-care. even the thought brings hope and peace to my mind. to me this means : conscious eating, and making ‘me-time’ a ritual not just a hopeful thought, and writing morning pages every day like Julia Cameron shares. I love her stuff too! Getting grounded this year on all levels.. putting feet under these wings.. so that realities can happen
blessings!
Hi Nadia,
Thank you for sharing all that you are going through with your readers. My favorite part about your whole post is that you have the vision for your best life already figured out and that you see it crystal clear before you. Some people go their whole lives without ever doing that! My husband has talked to me about that last 10 percent of changes and modifications we need to make in our lives to finally get our life and our authentic self aligned. My friend compared it to the last couple of miles of a marathon. So much planning and preparation take you only so far; it’s that last little bit that makes all the difference. Maybe it’s the last bit of “stuff” that we are only prepared to take on after our journey so far…So now is the time to ask questions and test out answers, now is the time to let people help you where you need it, now is the time to take those last leaps! I am so very happy to be on the journey with you!
.-= Jodi at Joy Discovered´s last blog ..Keeping it Simple =-.
Hi Jodi,
All that you wrote makes total sense to me. The idea of the last 10% of changes is so true. It is funny, I have gone through so much to get to where I am. I have changed my life in so many ways. And yet there is this one little bit that needs to be take care of at this stage. So your words really resonate and thank you for sharing because you so beautifully put to words what I have been feeling.
I am happy you are on the journey with me too! A person can never have too many friends! Have a fantastic day! 
Hi Nadia,
Thank you for your unabashed honesty. Reading your blog makes me feel like I’m reading a real person, not an article. Underneath our crafty writing and witty comments, all the rest of us are just real folks too and can completely relate on some level.
.-= Lori´s last blog ..Just Being Present =-.
Hi Lori,
Thank you so much. I would not want to be any other way. No one is perfect and that includes me too. I think one aspect in human interaction which is very important is honesty and that includes owning up to who you are and all your stuff. Being authentic is part of living and I think why so many people struggle is because they have no idea if it is safe for them to be themselves with others. I think that is another reason why so many people feel lonely. We all want to know we are not alone in our struggles, so why share talk about our struggles openly? In talking and sharing, we come to see that we are in this ride together so we might as well help each other. That is one thing (among many) that I try to do here.
Hope all is awesome!
Hi Nadia .. thank you for that post – showing us that we all need peace and quiet at times to reevaluate our lives .. sometimes bugs come along and knock us – to ensure that we are still to think, or let thoughts come in to our lives. I will be really interested to join with you as you travel this path .. all the very best and just look after yourself.
I love the title of the post: Changing paths and trying to be more like buddha … you are so generous to others – take time for you …
My thoughts will be with you ..
Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters
.-= Hilary´s last blog ..Warning! Plants have ‘degenerated’ … =-.
Hi Hilary,
You sound like my husband who has been telling me for days that I need to take care of myself and put me first. Sounds like a foreign language to me but I know it is true. Knowing something is one thing but to actually do it, is another. However, I am trying. I am learning to take care of me and be generous to myself. It is very new.
I am so happy that you are joining me in the journey and please know that your support is much appreciated. I hope that all is well with you today. Hope your mother is doing good too!
Good insights and perspective.
I think another way to look at everything happens for a reason is … we can assign meaning to anything that happens … and we’re the most important meaning makers in our lives.
One lesson I see keep showing up is, you’re on path or you’re off. It doesn’t matter whether you work for a corp or for yourself … it’s about whether you are living your why and how. It seems like there’s two key dimensions to it. First, are you on path? If not, then everything will feel off. Second, if you’re on path, living your why, living your how, and getting your needs … then it’s a matter of degree … and it’s a slider scale. Your how is what lights you up. Whether you live one more day or a million, you’re living your process as best you can and that’s the most you can ask for.
.-= J.D. Meier´s last blog ..What’s Your One-Liner Super Hero Power? =-.
Hi JD,
You are right, we are the most important meaning makers in our lives. Something will give meaning only if we attribute it to give us meaning.
As for what you wrote regarding the path is an interesting perspective. I see what you are trying to say and I think it makes sense. There is so much I need to think about and your input has added to the things to think about which is awesome. So all is good. No worries!
I wish you lived close enough for me to bring you soup and give your husband a wee break. Get well soon!
I feel big changes coming for you, Nadia, as you surrender even more to your real calling. Reading this piece reminded me of one of my favourite Nin quotes:
However you decide to blossom, whatever path you choose to take, we’re blessed to have you in our lives.
.-= janice´s last blog ..Holidaying at Home: The East Neuk of Fife =-.
Hi Janice,
That is a beautiful quote. Thank you for sharing it. I will have to add it to my list of quotes.
I am blessed to have all of you in my life too and I look forward to the road ahead. This has been building up for some time and now a choice has been made. So life is awesome…it is always awesome but takes on a different meaning.
Hi Nadia ..have a good Sunday – a day of peace and quiet! If you’re on a different path – looking after yourself has to be there too? Smell the flowers today ..
Mum had a peaceful day yesterday – thank you .. til next time ..
Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters
.-= Hilary´s last blog ..Granite Plug, Claret Jug =-.
It takes an illness for us to see that we may just need a tiny break. When we ignore previous warning signs, our body has a way of telling us to slow down.
Good for you in taking the time to re-evaluate your priorities. Yes…self care is very important! It is hard to run or want to do more on an empty tank.
.-= Evelyn Lim´s last blog ..Life Between Lives Regression Therapy Review =-.
Hi Evelyn,
This whole infection situation was one of the best things that could have ever happened to me. I seriously mean that because it has been like a rebirth on so many levels. I am just simply thrilled.
Actually, I do not think I would have made the decision that I made if this had not happened. So all is as it should be.
Hope all is awesome with you and your family!
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