Often in life, there comes a time (sometimes even more than once) when we wonder more about who we are and why we are here. Not many people undergo the challenge of trying to figure out the answers to those questions.
Some people might think that such a quest is a waste of time and is really not that necessary. It is often amazing to me how unaware some people are about who they are and what they release out into the world. I do realize that to some it may seem too scary to realize that there could be more to life than what meets the eye.
Many people are content living under a delusion and feel security in thinking that life is all about getting a job, getting married, having kids and then dying. I have relatives who truly get very agitated when you tell them that there is more to life than possessions.
Their whole sense of identity is based on their possessions and their income. Everyone who crosses their path is judged accordingly. They are not bad people but they are just lost and sometimes when people are lost, they can cause a lot of damage without knowing it.
Anyway, the best way to get an idea of who you are is quite simple. I could go into all the spiritual stuff and say that you are an aspect of the Divine and you are supposed to spread love and joy. That is very true. Each one of us has a unique method and style of how to spread that love and joy. No two journeys are the same and no two journeys should ever be compared.
The best exercise that I have found which has helped me realize how I am supposed to be in the world or that has given me an idea of how I want to be in the world is to grab a bunch of magazines and just rip out the images that resonate with me.
When I was in college and the years after law school, the images that I felt drawn to where of women who were in suits and business settings. Within a couple of years, I was like the women in those pictures.
I was in law school, wearing exactly the same clothes and having the same exact look. Everything in my closet and drawers was black. Opening my closet was like seeing a variety of the same thing whether it was a suit, a pair of shoes or whatever. The funny thing is that I was able to distinguish between each item and would always buy more of the same. I could have easily been called “The Lady in Black”. My mood was kind of dark, too.
Just about when I started to realize that I did not want to be the ultimate business woman powerhouse, I started to be drawn to images that were quite the opposite. One of the many great things about life is that we evolve and therefore, our sense of self changes as we change.
To be stagnant and to always remain the same is never a good thing. Stagnation, in my mind, is equivalent to death because you just simply are not growing. Growing is awesome and sometimes it is not easy. How I wish I learned the major lessons of my life without tears or heartbreak. Then again, I do no think I would have learned so much if the lessons were that easy.
As my spiritual quest evolved, I found myself being drawn to more and more images that reflected a sense of being free and natural. The amazing thing is that with time, I saw that I was always free and natural in my private life but I just did not recognize it.
Looking back over my past, I recalled incidents and comments made by friends and family that reflected the fact that I was more free spirited than a serious business woman - though I can be serious when the need arises.
As I found myself being drawn to the more natural things, the wardrobe started to change too. I donated all my clothes and started to buy clothes that I felt were more in line with myself.
I realize that this may sound overly simple but how we carry ourselves in the world (including how we appear when we are out in the world) says a lot about who we are and how we feel about ourselves.
We are far more aware of who we are than we may realize. I used to think I was alone in this struggle for figuring out who I was and felt my identity crisis was this odd thing. However, I found that many people struggle with the same thing.
There are so many pressures that we assume are normal. The reality is that those pressures are not normal. To think of oneself with emotions other than love is kind of cruel and inhumane.
Loving oneself includes realizing the areas that we need to work on and accepting who we are. It means looking in the mirror and celebrating the image that we see. To love oneself also means that you allow others to be who they are and see the beauty in that difference.
Just because someone may not be as smart as you or vice versa, does not make you (or them) any less important or valuable. We each hold value and recognizing that value in another does not make you weak or small. If anything, it makes you pretty awesome.
So the next time you are looking at a magazine or watching a movie, look to see which images or characters resonate with you. You may just be surprised at the treasure you will find.
Click here to read my newest article, What Is Being Spiritual, at Elephant Journal.
{ 36 comments }
Hi, Nadia!
Years ago, I let myself get sucked into the “should’s” of who I was or how I was perceived on the outside. I was living from the outside in, rather from the inside out. Other people’s opinions mattered to me, and I let myself be led by them. I aspired to wearing lots of black suits (I would have loved your closet!), great shoes, jewelry, and the like. The funny thing is, they never felt right to me! I always felt out of place, or like a little kid trying to wear her mom’s clothes.
In my late 20′s, it dawned on me that my outer style is a reflection of my inner style: classic, subdued, simple and appropriate for almost any environment.
I love that you tore pages out of magazines (like making a vision board!), and I love how you so brilliantly acknowledge that through time, those images changed, as did you. Our preferences and ways of expressing ourselves change — and it’s wonderful! We grow and reflect that growth through the choices we make.
In the time since I started reading your blog, even, I’ve witnessed transitions in you, and know that they’re reflecting transitions in me, too.
Here’s to continuing to change in ways that get us closer to who we truly are and why we’re here!
~ Namaste ~
.-= Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s last blog ..What’s In An Opinion? =-.
Hi Megan,
I could relate to so much of your experience. One of the many great things about life is that we all have the opportunity to grow and evolve. I am often amazed when people think that what you liked in your 20′s will hold true in your 30′s.
When I started this blog, I was different than how I am now. I am grateful that it shows.
More importantly, I am grateful for all the awareness I have gathered and you all have helped in so many ways. It is amazing how much we can learn when our eyes are wide open! And cheers to more growing! 
Change, grow, evolve…words that jump out at me as I read here today. Nadia, I can’t imagine you with a “dark” mood. And maybe that goes along the lines of how we can evolve, each one of us. Life as it is today (no matter how good or how bad) is not how it has to be tomorrow. We can choose to love ourselves, to understand ourselves at a deeper level – and grow out of that into the person that is within us.
Awesome thoughts, and while it’s hard to think of you and “dark” in the same sentence – what’s not hard to think about is how much you value the connection with “you”. And that shines out in all you write, and it’s beautiful!
.-= Lance´s last blog ..Less Stuff, More Meaning =-.
Hi Lance,
Each second is a chance to start fresh. You are not alone in being surprised at my description that there was a time when I was full of pain. When I tell people of my past experiences, they are often amazed that I am such a happy, free spirited person. I always tell people if I could overcome such a past, anyone can. Life is beautiful and we each are beautiful in our own way.
Just like Lance, I can’t imagine you with a “dark” mood…that just doesn’t fit in with my mental image I have of “Nadia”. But then again, Sometimes I have a hard time associating the mental image I have of “attorney” with the mental image of “Nadia”, too!
I like how you looked for external images to model yourself after, and how you slowly came to become those images. Now, you have fully integrated the “Happy Lotus” image, and so that’s what others see in you. Hmmm I’ve tried to write this paragraph three times now, and I’m still not saying exactly what it is that I’m trying to say. For once, it seems as if my words are failing me. Perhaps I will write a follow-up comment a little later in the day, to try to clarify this…..
.-= Jay Schryer´s last blog ..I Totally Screwed My Karma =-.
Hi Jay,
No worries, Jay. You made sense to me and I look forward to hear more from you too.
The interesting thing is that the later images I related to were more of a reflection of my true self. I grew up in an environment that values being a professional. So I think I was initially drawn to the professional images because that was what I was told to be.
As for the attorney part, it is my day job and it in no way defines who I truly am. When I am at work I feel like I am on another planet. I have a post coming up that goes into this whole thing because I realize how conflicting it may seem. Sometimes we make choices based on expectations and I was expected to be a professional. Took me time to develop the courage to speak my truth. Like I said, there is a post coming up in a week or two on this whole thing!.
hmm
i m really going to try this
ya i agree that if we need to grow , we need some change
stagnation is suicidal
n i love this picture of happygirl…………..it resonates with me
Hi Mini,
Stagnation is never good. Growing is a part of life and the more we grow, the more we learn about life and ourselves.
Glad you like the picture too! Hope all is awesome.
I used to have a few full size posterboards tacked up on my walls, each with cut out pics relating to various themes – success, health & fitness, money, travel – and it indeed made it easier to envision myself obtaining those goals. Like you said, I have evolved much since then, and I’m going to do this again and get a better gauge of just how much I have. Thanks for your blog!
.-= Jim H. Moreno´s last blog ..The Power of Images =-.
Hi Jim,
Thank you for always pinging back to my site. I really appreciate all the support.
Cool on doing the posterboards in the past. I collect images in a book and it is interesting because each book I have kept, I have always ended up having a life that reflected those images. It is also interesting to watch how those images evolved as I mentioned in my post. I think the images that I have now are much more in harmony with who I truly am. Kind of cool how it works. Let me know what you discover. Hope all is awesome!
I love this post, and two things about it in particular.
1. The idea that finding our true self is an ongoing, ever-changing process. It shifts or evolves over time, and is often self-fulfilling.
2. This exercise of sifting through images to find the ones that most resonate with us. Like you, when I was in college, I would have chosen power-suit women who conquer the world and travel by Gulfstream. Now I’m drawn to simpler, kinder, more natural women. My wish now is to be like them (like the woman in the photo you used), light as air and full of joy. Now I feel certain that’s the path I must be on.. the path of becoming the “me” I want to be.
Thanks, Nadia!
PS: Jay, you’re gonna have to start waking up earlier if you are ever going to beat Lance to the comment queue.
.-= Lisis´s last blog ..Road To Freedom Update # 1 =-.
Hi Lisis,
Isn’t life cool? I think the fact that we can grow and evolve is so comforting. I think anything is possible in life if you choose to have that mind set so I think not to grow would be kind of a waste.
You are definitely on the path to becoming the real you…your comment proves that, my friend! I am happy you are on the same path!
At first I didn’t realize you meant self-images. Images in general are powerful and I like your points.
I think of an image as how you see something or represent it. It can be a scene in your life, an image of your future or past or present self. I can be how you visualize what’s possible or what you shine the light on.
I’m a fan of growth and I think you painted a compelling image of both images and growth.
.-= J.D. Meier´s last blog ..Thinking as a Skill =-.
Hi JD,
Trying to find an appropriate title for this post was a challenge. I then settled on this one and I was aware that it may not convey the meaning but in a subtle way it does or at least, in my mind it does.
Images help us realize who we want to be or who we are and you are right, they do help us grow. Hope all is awesome!
Great post, Nadia! I’m such a word person that sometimes I don’t think about images — and their power — as much as I should, but this post has inspired me to think more about them. Thanks!
Hi Dani,
Images (in the context of the post) are very powerful because they often represent how we feel or think. Art, whether it is a painting or a movie or whatever invokes feelings and when feelings are invoked, anything is possible and anything can be created.
Yes. yes. yes. This is right on the mark.
I was happy to see you write about this, Nadia. I can remember cutting out photos of these awesome, kick-butt, athletic women and putting them in my journal when I was not quite into fitness and amateur racing, yet. I don’t know why I did it at the time, but it seemed to work!
What I learned later in life, and what you write about so well, is that this is such an incredibly powerful activity. I’d almost say it was like rubbing Aladdin’s lamp. Whatever I’d take the time to cut out and paste in my journal, would eventually come to pass (for the most part).
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. I had never thought to bring this up with any of my colleagues or friends prior to today. Thank you! You totally gave me that “A-ha” moment.
Hi Lori!
I am thrilled to know that this post provided an “A Ha” moment.
You are so right about how visualization or cutting out images are like rubbing Aladdin’s Lamp. Did you see “The Secret”? They used the example of how our thoughts and feelings are equivalent to rubbing Aladdin’s Lamp.
I have come to see and believe that anything in life is possible, we just have to believe and do our part.
HiNadia .. I must say I can’t think of you in a dark mood ..I’d probably describe it as a serious mood .. controlled by your situation – not by what you felt inside.
I would love to wear other things .. probably never following the trend .. just because someone else does it doesn’t mean I have to .. though of course I’d look similar .. however I can’t wear half the clothes on the market .. funny mix .. can only comfortably wear cotton .. wool, nylon, polyester, linen etc etc all irritate = some man made, some natural ..
I’m sure my clothes would be appropriate .. but I love blues, pinks and reds .. bright colours – so things are always cheerful ..
Thanks for your thoughts and the comments.
Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters
.-= Hilary´s last blog ..The Power of Water …. =-.
Hi Hilary,
I was in a dark place years ago. I was serious too but dark. Immense pain and suffering does that to a person. However, I was determined to overcome it and I did.
Good for you for having your own sense of style and wearing what feels right to you!
Hi Nadia!
Fabulous post, precious insight! And thank GOD we do evolve (well most do, whether they intend it or not). For a visual quickie, I can look thru decades of photo albums. The clothes and hairdo’s instantly remind me of where I was back then. I’ve evolved so much I really should be exhausted at my age! (Maybe that’s why I am?)
Evolve is a nice word. It sounds natural, smooth, easy transition etc. I prefer it to re-inventing myself, which I’ve done at least once per decade and it wasn’t always so smooth and natural!
Your suggestion for the magazine clips I love! I’ve done that for years and it is really is a powerful tool. I do it with house pictures and furniture and rooms I love as well, altho I’m still patiently waiting for THAT to show up! ha!
The choice of black suits tying in with your black moods – wow – see that power? Clothes we choose can become part of our identity – or at least other people see us (judge us) according to what they see. It took me awhile to see the superficiality to all that when I was in my 20′s. Then I actually USED it to make a point in my 30′s. By 40 I went for variety – keep ‘em guessin! I saw I was treated differently (or according to) how I presented myself. It became a game. I made it fun!
40 and 50 both start with the letter “f” – now that F could be freedom or something else, but I found great liberating power in them. Evolving? I’m a big fan! AND a fan of yours!
.-= suzen´s last blog ..Negative Habits that Destroy Relationships & A Tool for Change =-.
Hi SuZen,
Well, I am a fan of yours too. You are always full of life, light and love. You have the ability to make people laugh and smile. So you, my friend, are quite awesome!
I am so happy to know that I am not the only one who cuts out images and I loved your comment about how our clothes reflect our identity. When my mom passed away, one of the first things I did was to donate all my clothes. I only kept a few things and went out to buy more stuff. I thought that maybe there was something wrong with me at the time because I remember looking at my closet and realizing that the clothes were nothing like how I felt at that moment. I later found out that this reaction is common for caregivers. Interestingly enough, I am currently in the same position. I do not have many clothes and feel the desire to get a new look. Thank God evolving never stops! Woo hoo!
Namaste Nadia,
The idea of connecting with images is interesting! I’ll try to be aware of that when watching movies and reading magazines.
Most of us live our lives swayed by the waves of circumstance and conditioning, and accept the profound unease of reactive living as just a part of being human. Some of us–the lucky ones–rebel and want to know who we really are. As you point out, everyone’s journey is unique; however, there are some common elements. Once there is an intention to awaken, there is no turning back. There can be some emotional turmoil along the way, as we release the familiarity of conditioning and stored negativity. At some point effort is released, and life unfolds naturally, synchronistically and effortlessly. Fear, doubt, worry and other negativity diminish. And then, surrender happens.
.-= Kaushik´s last blog ..How to Stop Compulsive Thoughts: Letting Go in Four Steps =-.
Hi Kaushik,
You are absolutely right about how when we let go, life has a way of having everything fall into place. I have known that to be true for years and I have experienced it numerous times. I recently had an experience which sealed the deal for me. Life is awesome.
“We are far more aware of who we are than we may realize. ” This is so so true. Our joy is innate, yet we, as you very well point out here, veer away from our sphere of light, tho not usually consciously. But still, we sense something is “off.” We inherently know we are stagnant, the trick is knowing how to grow. So we search. Where there is a will, there truly is a way, and I believe The Way includes reading Happy Lotus on a regular basis!
.-= Jannie Funster´s last blog ..Lazy River Sunday (Formerly Titled “Frisky Jim at the Water Park”) =-.
Hi Jannie,
You are so sweet and funny, thank you!
There definitely is a way to get to where we want to be. Actually, I think it is a whole lot easier than we realize but for some reason, human beings are under the perception that things have to be tough and difficult. Yet, like you said, we know there is more than what we see. Life is definitely interesting. 
Hi Nadia, Just recently I am being drawn in my all the images around me. I love your idea of grabbing a stack of magazines and seeing what we gravitate towards. Most of the images attracting me right now are of nature and they give me a feeling of serenity. The images of people are usually women and they seem to always be wearing something flowy that is blowing in a breeze! Thanks for this!
.-= Jodi at Joy Discovered´s last blog ..Live the Dream Now =-.
Hi Jodi,
One cool thing I have noticed in the responses to this is that so many female readers are attracted to the same kind of image. Peaceful, serene, natural and so on. I guess we are all aiming for the same thing….to be a reflection of happiness. May you and everybody else who reads this post, achieve the image that you desire. I wish that with all my heart!
I love love love that image of the happy girl in the field. Perfect! Another wonderful piece.
.-= Brenda´s last blog ..Gospel Song =-.
Hi Brenda,
Thank you so much, Brenda. I think everyone wants to be that girl in the picture!
Thanks for such a thought-provoking series of reflections. Part of each person knows why he exists and the rest of that being is choosing experiences to learn lessons and catch up. We all empower and assist each other, even if efforts are unconscious or go unnoticed.
.-= Liara Covert´s last blog ..Reframe remote influencing power =-.
Hi Liara,
Thank you so much for the positive feedback. We are all connected and we all can help each other to be our best. I really believe that to be true. Hope all is well.
Nadia,
As usual you have managed to awaken the soul with this post. You do have the uncanny knack to do that…:)
But, for all the good things and the lovely adventures that life has to offer…it makes perfect sense to be accepting and more in tune with what our soul is asking for. That is indeed the truest form of meditation there is. And truly and honestly knowing what you need makes life and living a truly enriching experience.
Thank you for always having a way to instill some light into our hearts.
ohh..and i think i wanna join the girl in the gorgeous and fresh air……i think i will just close my eyes for a moment and enjoy what the girl is enjoying…does help to visualize….
.-= Zeenat-Positive Provocations´s last blog ..Inspirational Quote Of The Week.{31/7/09} =-.
Hi Zeenat,
Thank you so much for all the kind words.
I agree with what you wrote. The interesting thing that I notice is that there are people who have no idea what they want because they follow what society thinks they should want. So often we think we know what we want but we don’t since there are so many things that can block our view. Once we start to pay attention to what we are drawn to, then we get a better understanding of who we would like to be.
And may you attain the joy represented in that picture!
Hello Nadia and all, Thank you for this wonderful, thoughtful, and inspiring post, an related comments.
Your reflection on images brings to mind this quotation from the Buddha “Mind is the forerunner of all things…” and the related notion and understanding that we manifest what we think. Connecting with and reflecting on images both reinforces what is in our minds (our heart/minds) and informs the evolution of what is in our minds-whether we are purposefully or inadvertently directing or shifting our focus.
I imagine that you will be attracted to pictures of prolific, successful authors (of books) since that is undoubtedly going to be part of what you will soon be embodying!
… on a related note, the images we create in the spaces we reside in are profoundly important influences on our consciousness. The pictures on our walls, the flowers in our gardens (the garden themselves!)… interacting with space and feeding ourselves with images that reflect where we are and what we aspire to is deeply nourishing.
Thank you again for catalyzing this conversation and exploration Nadia! It is a gift, and a blessing.
Jeff
Hi Jeff,
Thank you so much for all the support. I am really grateful for all that you wrote.
I love that quote from Buddha and I have read it before. It is so true. I forgot who said it but it goes something like “if the mind can perceive it, you can achieve it”. I really believe that to be true and due to all that is happening in my life at the moment, I am convinced that it is true.
Your comment are the images in the spaces we reside in is something I believe in too. I think the company we keep whether it be people or images, do impact how we think and feel which then creates our reality. Life is truly beautiful.
Hope all is well!
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