Jewel, Dreams, Faith & Me: My Progress Report

As some of you may recall, a couple of weeks ago I wrote a post about how I reached the decision to change paths. This post is my progress report. Something amazing happened to me last week but what makes it even more amazing is how it came to be.

Initially I was hesitant to be so open about some parts of my past but figured that in order to fully understand where I am now, you have to understand where I have been in the past eight years. So I decided to go ahead and disclose everything.

How It Started

It all started back in 2001. After a couple of horrible jobs as an attorney, I had decided to stop being a lawyer and finally pursue writing as a career. I was tired, miserable and felt that my life was no longer my own. For years, I did all that was expected of me but I felt so empty.

At this point, I was immersed in my studies of Eastern thought, spirituality and my quest for happiness. As a result of those passions, it became obvious that the time had come to stop being a lawyer. So I quit my job and found another simpler job while researching how to pursue my passion of being a full time writer. I was working as a writer on the side since I was nineteen and wanted it to be my full time job.

I don’t remember how or where but I heard about the book The Architecture of All Abundance and ordered it. I read it in a few days and as you may know, I have mentioned it here a while ago. The book is written by the mother of singer/songwriter Jewel Kilcher.

The section of the book which really resonated with me was the part where she discussed how her daughter came to realize what she wanted to do with her life and how she made her dream come true. She did not take the conventional route of making a demo tape and sending it out to agencies and so on. Jewel, according to the book, was frustrated with the idea of not doing anything.

Her mother encouraged her to just see where life was guiding her and just go with the flow. Do the work that is required for the moment and trust the path. When you make the most of the moment at hand, you are guided to the next step. Eventually, by just focusing on the moment at hand, she was noticed by agencies and went on to make a record. She never once had to force her way in, it came to her. 

Also discussed in the book was the idea of taking a leap of faith and knowing that someway and somehow life would work out for the best. My heart and soul were craving to have such experiences. Something inside me felt that what this woman was writing was true but I wanted proof for myself. Not that I doubted the story but rather at that point in my life, I was so tired of all the drama that I had been through, I wanted to experience the power of faith. Not faith in the religious sense but faith in the sense of trusting that life has a rhythm of its own and that that rhythm is loving and merciful.

So many times, I heard stories of people who realized their dreams by just being at the right place at the right time without forcing the result to occur. I just wanted to have the same experience. I wanted to know for a fact that the Universe was compassionate and kind. I wanted proof that although human beings can be cruel to one another, the Universe is not.

The Aftermath of India & Being Disowned

About four months later, I met my husband and ten months later we were married. In 2003, we decided to live in India for six months. I wanted to work on my writing and my husband had a project that he wanted to work on. So in 2004, we went to India. I have written about how unhappy my family was about our decision. Although my plan was to work on my writing while in India,  due to all the drama with my family, my writing at that time was all about what was happening in my life.

Each day of those six months, I either got a phone call or an email, telling me how horrible I was and how what I was doing was so wrong. Each phone call and each email was like an arrow to my heart. I tried my best to explain myself to my family but no one listened. I filled up journals and journals about the pain I was experiencing as well as what it was like to live in a country like India. However, when we returned from India, things with my family became much worse.

My family was very angry about what we had done and to make a long story short, I was disowned. Literally. When we came back to America, we had nowhere to go. All we had was each other, a used car, four suitcases and $2,500 in our bank account. So we had no other choice but to live out of our car until we found a new place to live and found jobs. It took two months but during those two months, we always had a place to sleep, food to eat and never were lacking.

When we moved into our new place and got new jobs, there was only one hundred dollars left in our bank account. We never borrowed a cent from anyone, we never asked anyone for money and we never went into debt. Those two months taught me about faith. When you are living from a place of honesty, authenticity and doing your best, you are taken care of someway and somehow.

My family was shocked we survived and that I did not come back begging for money or forgiveness. My parents and I made peace. As of this date, only one uncle talks to me. Everyone else in my family still does not talk to me and I am still a big source of gossip. Despite the initial pain, I have come to see that I threatened their view of the world and so it is easier for them to be angry at me than to think that maybe there is more to life than what they thought.

Following the Signs

Almost a year after our return from India, my mother was diagnosed with cancer and so we moved back to my childhood home so that I could take care of her. Six months later she passed away, I got a job as a secretary and as life would have it, the first week at my new job, I had a dream showing me that I needed to go back to law. I could not believe it but everything seemed to be pointed in that direction, so I followed the hunch.

Throughout all of this, my writing was still something I did whenever I could fit it in. When I passed the bar exam and began working as a lawyer again, it became obvious that the time had come to start a blog and that is when Happy Lotus began. It was only shared with my husband, the family members who were talking to me and my friends. I went public late February of this year and it has been wonderful.

Everything related to this blog has been a joy. Words cannot express the happiness and gratitude at having this blog and having all of you read it. Each post is written with love and I run this blog with the philosophy which I apply to my life. That philisophy is to be true to who I am and to listen to my heart and go with the flow. After what happened when we returned from India, I learned that you cannot force an outcome. You just do your part to your best ability and let the rest go.

Preparation Meeting Opportunity

A few months ago, I shared the following quote from Steve Martin:

“Be undeniably good. When people ask me how do you make it in show business or whatever, what I always tell them and nobody ever takes note of it ‘cuz it’s not the answer they wanted to hear — what they want to hear is here’s how you get an agent, here’s how you write a script, here’s how you do this — but I always say, ‘Be so good they can’t ignore you.’ If somebody’s thinking, ‘How can I be really good?’, people are going to come to you. It’s much easier doing it that way than going to cocktail parties.”

Well, without getting into too much detail, I will just say that the man is absolutely correct. I do not know if I am undeniably good but I do know that when you hold the picture of your dream with such clarity in your heart/soul and you do your absolute best, someway and somehow your dream will come to you. The right people and the right resources will present themselves. I am now sure of this 100% percent.

For years, I held a picture of what I wanted to happen to me in terms of my writing and it has come to be. All those years of working on spirituality (a process which never ends) and writing (which can always be mastered more) finally paid off. The time has come for me to work on an amazing project and it feels right for me to do it. All the pieces have fallen so beautifully into place and the time has come for me to expand my writing and take it to the next level.

It has always been my desire to do more with my blog than what I have been doing and the time has come to work on a project that will hopefully achieve that goal. As a result, I will have to once again change my blogging schedule so that I can write for this project, write for my blog along with writing for Elephant Journal and have a day job.

My new posting schedule with be Sundays and Thursdays. You can expect the same kind of posts as I have been publishing. I hope you will continue with me on this journey. The road ahead is uncharted territory and I have no idea what will happen. I do know that I plan to share it with all of you. It is also my wish that by sharing my journey, you will be encouraged to pursue your dreams too. Happiness is real and can be achieved, so can your dreams. You are far more powerful than you may realize.

Other Articles that Might Inspire You::

• Passion…It’s A Way of Life
• William Shakespeare & The First Step to Becoming Extraordinary
• Forgot About Mission Statements…What’s Your Creed?
• War, Love, The Allure of Travel and “The Lotus Eaters”
• Project Revealed: Welcome to the Launch of Happy Lotus Lifestyles, LLC