This is probably the shortest post I have ever written so be prepared to finish reading this much sooner than usual.
Recently, due to numerous observations, I made the joke to friends and family that the old Christmas carol Deck the Halls should now be referred to as Deck Your Fellow Shoppers. This joke brings a lot of laughs. Yes, I did create it to be funny but it breaks my heart to see that I am not alone in this observation.
Every day, when I go out into the world, I am greeted by faces that look lifeless. One weekend, I went out to do some errands at this huge store. I was feeling happy and just loving how beautiful the store looked. I was in the moment and loving it. I started to notice that I was getting some weird looks. For the record, weird looks do not affect me. However, one lady gave me a look which felt like a dagger in my heart. So as a result, I stopped pushing my cart and just really looked at the faces of every person who passed me.
The majority of the people looked like robots going through the routine of shopping. No one seemed anywhere close to being in the holiday spirit. It was painful to watch. Not to mention, it made me feel really lonely since people seemed so dead.
Now I know the world is not what it used to be. I know that unemployment rates are the highest ever. I know that there are two wars going on and there does not seem any end in sight. People are scared. People are mad. I get all of that and am compassionate to those sentiments. We are all dealing with these things. However, this does not mean you walk around like a robot with a pulse. This does not mean you are entitled to be rude, ignorant, pushy, mean, vindictive, lacking in manners and so on.
I don’t know about you but life is more than making money and just going through the days until you die. Life is about meaning. The meaning is up to you but for Christ sake, have meaning in what you do. Yes, we are all human beings (what a gift) but we are also human beings with a soul. Tomorrow is not a guarantee. It never was and it was never meant to be. Life is not a set formula. Life is whatever masterpiece you want to create. Isn’t that exciting? You have the potential to do anything if you choose to see life in such a manner.
Maybe I am alone in this but I am truly (in the words by Springsteen) searching for a world with some soul because a world without soul is not a fun place to be in…it is a very dangerous state of existence and I think we are all seeing the effects of that reality now.
Here is a video to a song that perfectly and exactly conveys the meaning of this post. The lyrics can be found here.
So are you searching for a world with some soul? What is your definition for soul? What is your definition of a meaningful life?
Special note: Here is the link to my newest article at Tiny Buddha.
{ 72 comments }
Hi Nadia .. having spent a little while ‘thinking’ .. the thought that sprang to mind is – have ‘we’ all become brain dead .. lacking in imagination, thought, caring – ie caring to think – has society “nanny stated” us too much – so we lack the ability to think – the parameters for a lot of people are so narrow – they can’t work a path forward .. they hanker after celebrity and immediate success, failure isn’t considered, and therefore when it happens .. that’s it?
These last few years I haven’t participated much due to my Ma and uncle, but I dislike shopping intensely – it’s never interested me – I buy when I need and that’s it. Personally I hate just wandering the streets, or the malls .. and people don’t inspire me when I’m there they’re too selfish usually ..
That’s me done on this sunny day! Let’s sparkle across the airwaves – with love to all -
Happy Days everyone .. Hilary Melton-Butcher
Positive Letters Inspirational Stories
.-= Hilary´s last blog ..Kissing under the Mistletoe – how did it all begin? and Asterix! =-.
Hi Hilary,
Where I live, we got two feet of snow within twenty-four hours. As a result of the weather, not many people are outside. Since we have 4 wheel drive, we were able to go outside these last two days. We went out for breakfast, to see a movie and so much more. The interesting thing is that we noticed that those who were daring to face the elements were very nice people. We had the best time wherever we went because everyone was happy.
I think a lot of misery is rooted in fear. People are scared and when people are scared they want to be secure so they stick to what they know. I have tried to engage in conversation with those that seem so down but they are so afraid to talk to a stranger. I understand that fear but I think it is a huge stumbling block. Fear only paralyzes people…love is what makes things grow and expand.
Hope all is well!
Nadia,
I really hope I am not a robot out there – especially one that is rude or inconsiderate in any way. I do find it to be a challenge on days when the crowds are larger than normal. Perhaps some of it is the general lethargy that some people exhibit, mixed with mean behaviors. Perhaps part of it is me – not appreciating enough the moment that I am in.
I do connect, though, very much with soul. So maybe that is part of it, not feeling that as I am out and about, especially this time of year. In fact, I’m sure it is. I think that we are sometimes out there, buying “gifts” out of habit (I’m supposed to get so and so a gift) instead of doing it from the heart. I know that if I happen to feel that way, I also lose some connection to soul in the process.
And soul, for me – is: connecting with something deeper within. It’s like I can feel it, in my heart sometimes, when I make that connection – a connection to meaning for me. Soul is the essence of who we are. It’s what makes us alive. Alive in any form that is us (i.e. it doesn’t have to be “jumping up and down” alive). And I really believe that when we make that connection, we look at the world around us differently, with more compassion. Because, at this deeper level, we begin to see that everyone is a soul-filled person – and yet, many have not discovered that soul within. Soul then is really a connection not only to what brings me to real life, it is also a stronger connection to God, and to the Universe.
Nadia, may your holiday season be filled with many moments of joy and true bliss. You are a shining star in this season we are in. And that’s not a fake star at all, not a facade that is put up – it is you and your soul shining through – something I feel here always…
.-= Lance´s last blog ..Sunday Thought For The Day =-.
Hi Lance,
Thank you so much for being so open with how you are and what you see. You are a shining star too…don’t you ever forget that.
Everyone most definitely has a soul but as you so beautifully wrote, not everyone is connected to it. I think the surface illusions are more in the forefront of people’s minds. Many people tend to view life from what they can see and touch. The soul is not something that you can touch but you know that it is there.
The root, in my opinion, of all the misery is fear. I totally get that and I understand why people are so scared but a lot of fear is also a form of illusion. Granted, on the television news, newspapers and television shows we are constantly bombarded with fear. We hear horror stories which makes us very suspicious of our fellow human beings. Unfortunately, the few who do horrible things contaminate us all to a point that we think everyone is horrible until proven otherwise.
Love is what will heal the world and not fear. As for buying gifts because you have to…that is kind of sad. I mean…shouldn’t we give someone a present out of love and not obligation? Isn’t it a joy to know that a present we give someone will bring a smile? Nothing is better than when you make another person happy. I love to give presents because the look on someone’s face is so priceless. That moment when they smile just makes me want to cry because it is so beautiful.
May your holiday season be filled with lots of love and joy! Actually, may every day be filleds with lots of love and joy!
Nadia,
I am starting to fall in love with your blog. You’re on the same wavelength as I am. I see this all the time. I’m not a huge shopper, but I see this a lot. To their credit, it isn’t the easiest thing to be happy.
Especially when they are watching TV, reading the news and being bombarded with negativity. They feel like everything sucks. But on another level I know that the negativity has to become overwhelming before they snap and go “enough is enough, I choose to be happy”. That’s what happened to me at least
.
.-= Henri´s last blog ..121 Ways to Improve Your Life and Be More Awesome =-.
Hi Henri,
Thank you so much for those kind words. I am so happy that you are falling in love with my blog. I guess great minds think alike!
Your experience is somewhat similar to mine. I had a tough past and eventually, I reached a point where I simply got tired of feeling miserable. With that one decision, many wonderful teachers and experiences came my way and finally happiness became a way of being. It took some time but it was so worth the wait.
People, as you so wisely wrote, are bombarded with constant negativity that they forget that there is another way. There is always another way but sometimes that other way is one that you have to create on your own.
Hope all is well with you.
I don’t know why people are so glum. I still get happy when I see the Christmas lights in the storefronts. I’m already looking forward to next year so that I can visit some other cities during Christmas to see the different ways they celebrate. Life is a beautiful thing.
Thanks for posting
.-= Ralph´s last blog ..The Ultimate Guide to Giving and Taking Constructive Criticism =-.
Hi Ralph,
Life is definitely a beautiful thing. This weekend we got two feet of snow and it is beautiful. Now the sky is bright blue and the sun shining. It is simply a winter wonderland outside. You just have to love life….there are so many precious things that surround us every day and every second. We just need to look.
Happy Holidays to you!
I sometimes am taken aback when I’m out in pubic and smile at someone who doesn’t smile back. Almost always, reaching from my heart to someone else’s initiates a warm response. When it doesn’t, it gives me pause.
I’m reading a book right now that reminded me to first BE whatever it is I want to see in this world (as Gandhi said), and without expectation, continue on in life. If I want someone to shower me with affection, then I’d better first go out and shower someone else with affection, expecting nothing in return.
I needed to be reminded of that because I have a tendency to become very me-minded. “I want, I want, I want.” Ahhh, but am I doing or being the same things I say I want?
So when I go out into the world smiling and trying to spread love, and don’t see it returned from each person I greet, I know I need to double my efforts with every other person I come across because somehow, some way, the Universe always balances out.
This world has wonderful amounts of soul, I think, as do the people in it. Just look at everyone who reads your blog! You are attracting the soulfulness that you are, and that’s just as it should be. Whoever you observe who seems lifeless, well maybe they just need a closer look. Maybe they’re waiting for someone to take a moment with them and really connect. Maybe on the outside they do feel lifeless, but deep within them is a tiny pulse awaiting your light.
We can all uncover a lot more soul, light and love in this world. It’s like mining — if we dig deep enough, it’s there. Of that, I’m sure!
.-= Megan “JoyGirl!” Bord´s last blog ..Funny Cookies =-.
Hi Megan,
I totally agree with you that there is a lot of soul, light and love in the world. I have no doubt about that. It is just that some people just do not want to deal with people like you and I. Like you, when I go out into the world, I do my best to spread love and light. For the most part, not many people return the smiles and joy. Some do and it balances out. Every store I shop in, I am known by name and I know all of them by name too. At the bookstore, they see me coming from my car and my drink is waiting for me by the time I get to the register even if there is a huge line in front of me. Being nice as always paid off but there are some people who just do not want to deal with people such as myself.
It is funny. Here we got two feet of snow and since we have the right kind of car, we were able to go out these last two days. Since most people stayed at home, only those who were daring went out and I have to tell you, every single person who was out that we encountered was nice and happy. It was sheer bliss since everyone was just so nice. That is not always the case. I have tried many times to engage people in conversation but some people just do not want to talk to a stranger. Of course, there are always those who mirror back the same stuff but unfortunately that is a minority where I live.
Maybe it is an East Coast thing but people here are really reserved and cautious. My husband who grew up in California jokes that the East Coast is like a prison…no one ventures out of their cells and everyone is just so rude. He always tells me that he finds it strange that neigbors in our development do not talk to each other. We both have tried to talk to our neighbors and all we get is a distant wave and they immediately jump in their cars to avoid a conversation. You can be as nice as you can be to another human being but if that person refuses to budge, there is nothing I can do except pray that whatever is hurting them gets healed.
Nadia, to me, this is the perfect post for solstice, as its about coming alive, and I think of the winter solstice as a turning point – the point where there is the least light, but then it gradually comes back, each day a little more. I hope this is what will occur for humanity. But I think it’s far from assured. So many people live from fear. Even more live in numbness, which might be worse. Many people are exhausted. It is heartbreaking. I am personally wary of prescriptives, of philosophies on how people should live, because I do think the ‘meaning is up to us’ as you put it, and people have the right, and the need, to experience whatever they want. But it’s hard to believe anyone really wants to live like that, soullessly. On the other hand, there is light in the world, there are so many blogs (like yours) and books and people working to truly bring about change, on levels from the economic to the social to the spiritual. All we can do is hope it is enough.XOXO
.-= Lisa (Mommy Mystic)´s last blog ..The Desert Mothers: First Women Christian Hermits =-.
Hi Lisa,
You are so right that people are free to experience what they want to experience. That is a wonderful point. It is just hard to go out into the world and see this misery constantly. There have always been miserable people but for some reason, it it much more pronounced these days which is odd considering the time of year.
I do think that society is being divided into two groups. Those who are miserable and want things to go back to they way they were. And then there are those who are more spiritual and full of light who want things to evolve. This division is becoming more obvious to me and it is fascinating to observe.
As I have mentioned in other replies to comments, we got two feet of snow yesterday and we were able to go out into the world since we have the right kind of car. There were not many people out and only those who were daring went out. Everywhere we went, people were so nice and happy. It was so wonderful to be out in the world because no one was miserable.
Yes, we all have our phases that we have to go through but there gets a point where such misery is enough. It is getting to the chronic stage now and I think as a society we just need to snap out of it. Yes, life is tough and we have our challenges but that does not allow us to treat each other with disrespect or rudeness. As I said in another reply, maybe it is just an East Coast thing. I hope it is just an East Coast thing.
Please know that I still have hope that things will change. It is just heartbreaking to see what is happening.
Hope all is well! Love and hugs to you!
Hi Nadia,
The beautiful thing about you is that you do have soul–and that you were enjoying the present moment, enjoying how pretty the store was, and feeling the Christmas spirit. Weird looks aside, I bet you made a strong impression on everyone who saw you there and I bet by the time they finished their shopping trip they put on a happy face, too. Sometimes all we can do is live our own life of meaning and hope we rub off on others when they are suffering. Keep being you and don’t let the robots get you down. (I’ll take the same advice, as I encounter this a lot, too!)
.-= Jodi at Joy Discovered´s last blog ..Love, Love, Love =-.
Hi Jodi,
Thank you so much for all the kind words and support. You are awesome!
No worries, the robot won’t stop me from being me. They just make me sad every now and then but it is a great learning experience. I keep doing what I can to spread light and love. Most people do not respond back but that is okay. Some do and that balances everything out on some level.
And you keep spreading your love and light too!
Nadia:
Thanks for this post…I would agree with you on the whole shopping experience. To me, its even worse in the parking lots of these shopping centers. I’m talking about everyone with a “me-first” and “get the eff outta my way I got some major shopping going on” attitudes in their cars. I’m convinced that some of these drivers would run people down if they could get away with it. Its enough to really get you down if you let it. I’m still convinced that there are more joyous, thankful people out there than not, but these “me-firsters” get a lot of our attention.
BTW, I’m not the biggest Springsteen fan, but I LOVE that tune that you posted today. Thanks for some words of wisdom during these crazy times and have a great weekend!
.-= Tim´s last blog ..Weekend Musical Diversion: Ray Charles =-.
Hi Tim,
Your comment made me laugh. I was almost run over in a parking lot on Friday and the driver who almost ran me down (she was like two inches away from me) looked annoyed at me. I could not believe it. I guess I was not walking fast enough. It was sad but funny too.
There are happy and joyous people out there. As you wisely stated, they just do not get as much as attention as those who are miserable.
And I am happy that you loved the song. It is one of my favorites by my fellow Jersey boy. It totally rocks!
Hi Nadia.
I am love, to access my soul I have to come from love.
It is amazing that in hard times people are turning away from each other, while you would think that the value of love rather than money or status becomes obvious.
Also you would think that comfort comes from smiling and connecting, at least stop warring at home. At least look for peace where you live and where you shop and dare to trust your onw gut to think somebody is genuine or not.
For me life is about being love in action and stepping beyond your own ego, that is only out to fight for first place.
It is amazing how a whole nation can be in the grip of fear, and how they even start to fear each other.
Oh, indeed how sad and how important it is to not give in.
I think what Jodi says has a lot of merit. People might not smile back but they sure might get some feeling.
It might lift them out of their robot like state, even for one minute.
I do think it is important to show your love for life, Nadia and it is important to take care of yourself so you are not drawn into their conversation.
And I do also agree that you have created a loving community here and that counts for a lot too as it is like a well, a well we all come to to drink from.
Nadia and everybody else here, lots of love and peace to be a lighthouse in this time, xoxo
.-= Wilma Ham´s last blog ..To create, we have to think more. =-.
Hi Wilma,
Thank you for always being so supportive and for all that you wrote. To be love in action is what we all should aim for in life. I know that I try to do that every day.
Fear is a powerful motivator for many people and that is the root of all human problems. Once we get rid of the fear, we recognize that love has been there all the time. We just did not see it because all the other drama was in the way.
Hope all is well!
Hi Nadia – I think a lot of people feel what you have expressed in this post around the holidays. Although we think of the holidays as being joyful and fun, that’s not how everyone feels, and it shows. Especially in places like malls, where the crowds may or may not have any “holiday cheer.” Even though there is a lot of pressure around this time of year, maybe taking the preparations down a notch may make us feel a little better about our celebrations! And help us find a little soul!
.-= Amanda Linehan´s last blog ..The Quick Guide To Self Reflection =-.
Hi Amanda,
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. You raised a great point that to many people this time year of year brings a lot of stress and pressure due to having to get so much done. The irony is that the holiday is a celebration of the birth of Christ who represented the message of compassion and tolerance. Yet that message gets lost due to all the shopping, decorating and so on.
You are so right that if we take things down a notch, it will make things so much more fun. Yay for fun!
Well, this is a change…I didn’t get Lanced, I got Lisa’d instead! I suppose that’s what I get for always coming late to the party, huh?
But yeah, it always makes me sad when I go out in the world, and I see how rude and uncompassionate people can be to each other. especially during the holiday season, when there are so many reasons to be mindful, joyful, and full of love. It really is sad to see the suffering that goes on in the name of “love” when really, love has very little to do with what these people are feeling.
But knowing people like you (and all the other fine people who have commented on this post) exist to counteract that darkness…well that gives me much peace and joy.
.-= Jay Schryer´s last blog ..A Christmas Story =-.
Hi Jay,
It is never too late to join in on the party!
Life is all about love especially at this time of year. I think fear is more predominant in people’s minds because we are constantly reminded of it whether it is a movie or a news program and so on. We all deal with our suffering in our own way and sometimes people are rude because they just do not know better. I get that and am for the most part tolerant of it but there are days when it just is hard to watch.
Keep spreading your love and light!
I’m so saddened by your experience. Mine has been exactly the opposite and extremely wonderful. In the midst of a New England snowstorm I headed out for some last minute things. I watched a young (teenage) man help an elderly gentleman navigate the snowy lumps in the parking lot to get to the store. I had a great conversation with a mother of 5 year old twins baking gingerbread boys with her children for the first time. I stood in line with people who were laughing and sharing their holiday status reports with complete strangers. The cashier said the day had been happy. I hope you find joy. I assure you it is out there.
Hi Jude,
No need to be saddened by my experience.
I think you misunderstood this post or you are new to my blog. I am a very happy person who loves life. It is just that recently it has come to my attention how so many people are so unhappy and taking it out on fellow shoppers. The irony of all of this is that this past weekend, we had a major snowstorm which shut down most of the city. Since we have the right car, we ventured out to the stores. There were not that many people at the stores and it was a welcome change since everyone was so happy. I guess only the daring had the courage to go out in the middle of the blizzard. The daring usually tend to be happy. At least, my husband and I are both daring and happy. So I know that there is joy…I feel joy every day. It is just sad when you see so many people struggling to find meaning.
Have a beautiful day and keep smiling!
I think you make a good point about people just going through the motions without thinking about the why, or remembering to be thankful for all the little things. I find it so hard to deal with some people’s negative energy. Some people are just irresponsible with how they let out their negativity and it is hard to not give back the negativity they are giving to you. At those times, I try to think of what Viktor Frankl said, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” I am not always successful! But, it is about strengthening my own inner resources so that I can respond in a wise and compassionate way. Your blog often helps me! Like vitamin C against negative energy.
.-= lena´s last blog ..Emotional Hygiene–Check Yourself =-.
Hi Lena,
I love that Viktor Frankl quote. He is one of my favorites and that is an awesome quote. Yes, we have the power to choose our response to a situation and the key is to be at peace in that space so we are guided to choose the right reaction. Easier said than done in some situations but we can try to do our best.
Recently, I read an old interview with the Dalai Lama and someone asked him if he ever got angry. He said sure. He said sometimes when he hears about how Tibetans suffer in China, he feels anger but then gets passed the anger. It was comforting to read about how this holy man who is rooted in compassion has moments of being angry.
We cannot deny the emotions that we feel, we just cannot be enslaved by them.
Thank you so much for always being so supportive of my blog. I really appreciate it!
I heard an analogy about life the other day, that we’re the sculptor not the clay.
I think the 3 simplest, and most powerful ways to make or change meaning in your life are:
1. lead with your “why” (why do you do what you do)
2. know who you are (beyond your job title)
3. choose the right metaphor for your life (is it a dance? is it an epic? is it a trajedy?)
… and then of course, be the author in your life and write your story forward, and be the director in your life and point the camera by design, not default.
.-= J.D. Meier´s last blog ..8 Ways to Be Heroic =-.
Hi JD,
That is good advice. The problem is that not many people realize that they are the creators of their reality. To be aware that we are the author’s of our life requires consciousness and insight. You have to believe in your own inherent power in order to move forward and to create a reality that is your truth. Not many people know their truth or who they are. Most people are just too busy trying to make a living that they are not living. However, I am an optimist and I do think that this will change as time goes on. Things cannot get any worse. We have only one direction to go and that is up!
Hi Nadia,
So much soul here…why should i go anywhere else 
This post and all the comments are such an awesome combo
Youre right Nadia,
We search for soul…cause we want to feel connected to each other. The natural thing is we ACTUALLY ARE all connected and ONE, but, in this thing called life, all of us have somehow alienated our connections in order to feed the greedy egoist self. That is unnatural and its consequences are seen in this very society’s individualistic ME approach where everyone else i.e. friends and family can be visited and thought of only on major occasions(if they are lucky)…the rest of the year its ME ME ME….!!
When you truly open up your heart and see the world today..you wonder where is it all going..where is everyone running …constantly running. Noone just stops and smiles or even takes a deep breath anymore.
To me Soul is where any other soul is(everywhere)…I know I am connected, whether they feel it or not…i Know in my heart…we are all part of the same Universe. Made of the same divine love and feel the same things. And “acts of loving kindness” strengthens that soul bond….I think those acts of loving kindness need to be increased….if not from others…from Me.
If each of us increase or “acts of kindness”, i think our world would indeed become a soulful world…full of love and harmony.
Now that would be soulful bliss
.-= Zeenat{Positive Provocations}´s last blog ..Positively Change The World{Inspirational Thought} =-.
Hi Zeenat,
What a beautiful comment.
Many years ago, when I realized that we were all one, it changed how I interacted with the world. All of a sudden I felt at one with everything and it was beautiful. Some days this connection is so strong, I could explode from the power of all the love and joy. I love such days.
The whole story of Adam and Eve is a story that represents when people separated themselves from God and the illusion of duality set in. There is no duality and there is no separation from God. We are all one but the power of the illusion is so intense we think that everything is a possible threat on some level.
People run because they are afraid that they may miss something. There is nothing to lose because life is merciful. If God is merciful despite all the junk we do, then I think we can be equally as merciful with one another. Yes, there are bad people in the world but they are in the minority. Life should not be lived in fear but in love.
And amen for acts of loving kindness. I totally agree. If more of us were to act from such a place, the world would become more soulful. I think that will happen at some point and until then, I am just responsible for my actions. Every day I try to do many acts of loving kindness. However, I am human and some days the level of the pain I see just breaks my heart but that does not stop me from being loving.
Hoep all is well!
hmmm…I think it is a matter, perhaps or waking up to the ensouled beings we are…soul is not missing…but sometimes we hide our light…for all the reasons you mentioned above, which essentially come down to one word: FEAR.
You are absolutely right rudeness, meanness, vindictiveness…NOT OK…and yet fear and overwhelm can provoke this kind of detachment from the world/people/ordinary awesomeness of life…unfortunately, those who need to read your post the most, probably never will…and so smiling and spreading a loving, compassionate, peaceful, grateful energy where ever you go (we go) is a great way to wake up all the sleepy heads. Who knows maybe your shiny nature really startled that lady with the GLARE…and after some time to integrate your surprising uplifting energy, hers has shifted now too?
Keep shining your light and waking up the world with kindness where ever you are, where ever you go, what ever you do. Sometimes souls need a little coaxing to reveal themselves.
gentle steps,
laura
.-= Laura Hegfield´s last blog ..Darkness Provides =-.
Hi Laura,
Fear is the root of most problems. The irony is that fear begets more fear. The more we dwell on something, the more we create it.
Recently, my dad made the comment that he noticed that whenever I talk to someone, I am really nice to them by talking to them about their lives and then ending the conversation with wishing them a happy holiday or a great day. He said it with awe which surprised me. Anyway, he went on to tell me how he noticed that at every store we went to, everyone knew me and some people even gave us some stuff for free. He then made the connection that maybe why all this was happening was because I really take my time to talk to people. It was so touching to me that he noticed that.
So I know that kindness is what the world needs and maybe some are just too afraid to be kind for whatever reason. I think happy people do threaten those who are not happy but I also think it does give them something to think about even if for a minute. I mean…if my dad could make such a connection without me saying anything on the subject, then I think people are observant and if they take the time to ponder the issue they may realize that kindess totally rocks.
Sending lots of love and blessings to you!
Hi Nadia
Generally speaking I agree from past experience, but seeing as I have not been in a mall in oh….can’t remember how long, nor have I done any Christmas shopping this year, I can’t vouch for the faces personally…but I have a feeling they haven’t changed since I remember.
We got to a point with my family where we decided not to exchange gifts, it just got to a point where it was more work than fun. So now we just get together to be together.
But I so agree, one doesn’t need to go out even around the Christmas shopping time to see that most days in fact, at a typical grocery store, most people are very much robotic like you described. It is all about the fastest way of getting things done, with minimal heart or soul.
What a beautiful post!
.-= Evita´s last blog ..It’s A Wonderful Life and Your Role In It Is Irreplaceable =-.
Hi Evita,
My husband and I agreed when we got married that no presents would be exchanged between us and that we would focus on the true meaning of Christmas which is love. For other people in my life, I give them homemade cookies as a present. With each cookie container, I tell people “here’s some lovin’ from the oven”! That usually brings a laugh and a smile. I make literally hundreds of cookies which takes so much time but it is so worth it.
So since I do not give presents, my experiences were based on the usual stores I go to in the course of a day or week. I am sure the mall would be more intense but depending on the kinds of people out there, it could be really beautiful or really depressing. I totally understand the desire to be efficient but a person can be efficient and have lots of love. It depends on the individual.
Hope all is well!
Nadia,
You know that I am a true fan of yours, as a talented writer. But life is life the way it is.It does not have to be constantly explained and justified. We mostly hurt each other taking this tempting direction of thought and do not gain much. Isn’t it wiser to identify the principles that run things and delve into how they work. It is at this very moment that the “Transcendental Hierarchy” will notice us and guide our path,
sending us its Holy Light ,blessing us with the wisdom and enlightenment, we need on our way, not to be lost in the lurking Dark.
Hi Michael,
Your comment reminded me of one of my favorite quotes by George Bernard Shaw: “You see things as they are and ask, ‘Why?’ I dream things as they never were and ask, ‘Why not?’” You are the kind of person who just asks why, while I am the kind of person that asks “why not”.
Unlike you, I do not believe that a person just has to accept life as it is for that would be failure in my mind. To accept things without any effort to try to change them is a waste of a human embodiment. So many people justify life for being the way it is and then just focus on themselves at the expense of humanity. People such as Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Teresa, Gandhi, Nelson Mandela and so on did not settle for accepting that life is just the way that it is. Without the courage of such people the world would be in a far worse place.
The purpose of life is to not become only the best version of ourselves but to also help the world. I wrote this post because I was so pained to see how so many people are suffering and taking it out on others. I could have easily ignored it and just focused on my typical spiritual studies but that would be selfish. Each individual action effects the whole. Each word we utter create a ripple effect. We have to be responsible for how we choose to be in the world. To just simply say that that is just the way life is strikes me as someone who has given up hope. Have you given up hope? I mean…don’t you think a person has the power to change the world? I am not saying that I will change the world on my own but I can choose how I want to engage in the world.
Society makes fun of people who are dreamers but it is dreamers who change the world. All the great writers, scientists, painters, doctors, and so on were all dreamers. So I rather be a dreamer who has hopes of changing the world to the better than being someone who has lost hope. For a life without out hope is not a life at all.
By the way, please know that I wrote all of the above with love. I know you are a fan of my work and no worries about what you wrote. I just see things a bit differently than you. Or maybe we see them in the same way but express it differently.
Nadia,
I know what you mean – I was with my husband in a car the other day in close proximity to a shopping center on our way home, and I glanced over my shoulder and made eye contact with the woman in the car next to me – and she gave me the most sinister glare! I was heart broken! I didn’t mean to look at her, I was just ‘looking around.’ Geez, when did it become a crime to meet someone’s eyes and smile at them? I was amazed at how much it really did crush me and make my heart sad.
There’s no reason to be a zombie or not make eye contact. We’re all the SAME! We’re all 99.99% the same! We all started out as a little egg and sperm cell, the two cells joined, and made us a beautiful human being. I try not to let things like this get me down (as my sister would term: from people giving me, “crusties.”). I guess I just try to let everyone be, and keep smiling on the inside.
Lovely post, Nadia. Thank you for being a soul sister!
~xo
.-= Lori´s last blog ..Front Porch: Brave, Bold Tess =-.
Hi Lori,
Isn’t it amazing how such a glare from a stranger can get to you? It is kind of shocking that a stranger can make us feel so crushed.
We most definitely are 99.99% the same. How I wish we were all aware of that scientific fact but no worries. We just have to keep being true to who we are and loving life whether it is on the inside or the outside. And I love the term “crusties”. For some reason, a piece of dried up bread comes to mind. I love it.
And thank you so much for calling me a soul sister. You are most definitely one too!
Lots of love and hugs to you!
Nadia,
You surprise me by totally misinterpreting what I wrote. I was not commenting your specific post, which makes a lot of sense. You definitely misunderstood what I said about the
“Transcendental Hierarchy” , something much higher than the’ Angels’ that usually protect you. I have no contradiction with you,we see them in the same way but express it differently.
How could you generate such an idea that I never end up with the question -”Why not?”
This makes me feel misunderstood, sad and lowers my profile.
Blessings Nadia,
You are somebody I truly care about!
Hi Michael,
I see where you are coming from and I think we can just chalk this one up to a misunderstanding since there are so many ways of saying the same thing.
So no worries, all is well. Keep smiling! 
This is such a great observation and post and the comments add so much to the ideas…
Choosing Voluntary Simplicity as a model for our family we have never had a huge gift fest as part of our ritual – for that I am grateful. And I see lots of smiling faces at music concerts, and school programs, and plays for the season….and the oohs and aahs of the littlest ballerina’s…
Being cash poor right now, I am very happy that our celebrations center around connections rather than “stuff”..
As I worked for the church for many years, I did Cards and stocking items mostly in JULY when I was relaxed and calm and could really think through what might delight….
I think it takes planning, and I do believe there are lots of people who find frantic shopping to be the most FUN part of Christmas even the worried face is part of the process…get exhausted then eat too much, and then sit and watch football . I am saddened to realized that a number of people think that drinking and family infighting are the big events of the season….
Working on feeling peaceful and finding connections this time of year…and wishing you joy and health and more wonderful wisdom to share . Thank you
I am posting a greeting (animated card) for the season on my blog on the 24th – sharing one of my kiddo’s art and talent….FYI
.-= Patricia´s last blog ..Peaceful Service – Practices of Peace =-.
Hi Patricia,
Isn’t it amazing how the message of Christmas has gotten lost with all the rush to buy presents? Everything seems to be so focused on what to give that no one seems to realize that the whole holiday is about the birth of a man whose calling in life was to promote love. To be fair, I never paid much attention to the significance of Christmas until I had my mid-life crisis at 25 and then everything took on a new meaning.
In my mind, the holiday is about love and so I choose to give love. I am fortunate to share my life with a man who feels the same way and it makes Christmas so much more fun when there is no pressure as to what to buy. For other people in my life, I give them homemade cookies. I make hundreds of them and just share them with everyone. It is a present given and made in love.
Your point about the season being viewed as a time to drink a lot and fight with your family is so true. I never understood that but then again, I don’t understand what most people do anyway. So no surprise there.
And thank you for the well wishes. May you have a wonderful Christmas! And thank you for letting me know about the animated card. I will be sure to check it out.
Nadia,
I love that your Dad noticed this! (having a similarly cerebral Dad-part of what makes them excellent physicians)…and the fact that he made this connection through observation (another reason our Dad’s are good at what they do). It is such a reciprocal thing “kindness”…sometimes it is an immediate positive response, sometimes it takes longer…but I have no doubt that sprinkling our light on unsuspecting grumpy souls has a pay it forward impact!
.-= Laura Hegfield´s last blog ..Darkness Provides =-.
Hi Laura,
I knew you would appreciate that bit about my dad considering your father is in the same field. You cannot imagine how surprised I was when he told me what he noticed. I thought he was so unaware of such things but he proved me wrong which was wonderful. And even though I have moments when I do get frustrated that some people do not share the same kindness, it always does get returned some way and some how. The Universe/God is forever merciful and I am so grateful for that unconditional love.
I don’t want to forget what came to mind as I read, so I’ll comment before reading everyone else’s thoughts.
Do you live in a city? It’s my been my experience, observation that larger cities seem to foster more emotional distance between people, while the smaller the locale, the closer and more open, more quickly friendly people seem to be. It seems the more surrounded we are by “strangers” and all that goes with that (congestion, accommodation, lack of personal space, and so much more, including the media’s focus on dangers),we tend to draw down a shade between ourselves and others. Not making eye contact is a perfect example.
The only conclusion I’ve drawn is many feel a “need” for “protecting” that small space they can call their own. They keep others at arm’s length as a protective measure. It’s all very counterintuitive, though, because we can find a measure of freedom in togetherness. Sharing our humanity, sharing our burdens makes everything so much more pleasant for everyone.
You mentioned people who are “…rude, ignorant, pushy, mean, vindictive, lacking in manners and so on.” I these actions show just how personally unhappy they are. We can’t do anything to help alleviate their discomfort except retain our grip on our own centered well-being, thereby offering them our kindnesses. When we don’t take on another’s issues, we’re free to show them what they can reach for, also, what life can be like for them. We can give them an example, hope, a light…
Thank goodness for everyone who swims against the tide! …smiling at everyone, making eye contact, offering something personal of themselves. The more genuine goodness that is shown, the more others can find that space deep within that recognizes it and wants it for their own. Once they get that feeling, there’s hope for change. All they need is a little help finding their center. Once grounded, personal growth ensues, and then curtains will go up, walls will come down, and more smiles will be shared.
I’m glad I visited, today, Nadia. I just love your passion and vibrant caring!
.-= Julie´s last blog ..Nothing =-.
Hi Julie,
Your comment was just so lovely and I totally agree with all that you wrote. Yes, I do live in a suburb of a major city. Actually, we are sandwiched between New York City and Philadelphia. My suburb is the size of a small city so it is kind of big and crowded. Traffic jams are constant as are stores being packed with people. Your description of what occurs in larger cities is so true especially in the Northeast of America.
As for making eye contact, it rarely happens here. I always do look at the eyes of those who walk by me or whomever I talk to but not many people return the gaze. I think it is because people here are always in a rush to get somewhere. Things here move at a very rapid rate so human interactions are the same way too. Efficiency means more than kindness….at least that is the case where I live.
People usually give what they know and feel. I think most people have not seen kindness or they have seen it but do not quite comprehend it. Let’s face it, we live in a world where being aggressive is a virtue and a sign of strength. I do not know about you but I think being aggressive is a negative trait. To be ambitious is quite different and positive but aggression just conjures up an image of a lion out for the kill. There is no beauty in that.
By the way, your comment reflects your passion and vibrant caring too! Thank you for being you!
It’s the imprisonment of thoughts. It’s a sad thing, particularly during the holidays, that people feel they are full of angst and fear and sadness, and others are not, when really, almost everyone is. And the transformation is simple, but radical, and so few us see it. It’s just awareness, and we all know what that is, and putting together short moments of awareness adds up enlightenment.
Happy holidays!
k
.-= Kaushik´s last blog ..Radical Transfromation =-.
Hi Kaushik,
That is a great description about people being imprisoned by their thoughts. That is so true. As for having awareness, it is so simple but so many people are so lost and confused. They just cannot see beyond the surface and that is what gets in the way for many. There is so much more to life than what we see. Once we can acknowledge that there are layers, then we can begin to become aware.
Hope all is awesome!
You have done a great job with this post. I too have observed the throng of shoppers who look downright miserable as they spend their money to buy what they think is some happiness. The stress that people inflict upon themselves in the name of getting the right gifts is amazing. We all have souls, some of us have simply buried our soul beneath layers of ego and we have fallen asleep to the buzz of everyday life. We must awaken, we must share our light so that others will awaken. The Star of Bethlehem is symbolic of the light of which we all are. We need not seek the light, we must remember that it is housed inside us like a dormant lighthouse. We must allow are light to shine. Thank-you and have a wonderful holiday season!
Hi Mark,
Your imagery was just so beautiful. I loved what you wrote about the Star of Bethlehem and now it is imprinted in my soul. Thank you so much for that. In all my experiences, I truly feel that we are all sources of light…we just do not see it because of all the crap that covers it up which we refer to as our issues. So often people mistake their issues as being representative of who they are but that is an illusion. We all have our stuff that we need to work through but that does not dictate our true essence.
May you have a wonderful holiday season too! Keep shining bright!
Hi Nadia!
I hear what you are saying. In years past I, too, would feel there was no way for my good mood and joy to permeate the “shells” of people, the auto-robots – let alone deal with the real mean folks. Is there “soul” missing? You bet. Do I want to see it, acknowledge it or even give it thought? I prefer not to – maybe thinking that if I choose not to see it, it won’t be there? I dunno. I think doing that would take me away from my reverie.
I avoid crowded places as much as humanly possible — fortunately I do not live in a crowded city. I go out, as you do, shining my light and I’m sorta lost in my own joyous little world. I smile and talk and if people don’t respond I send them love (silently) and keep moving! I get weird looks all the time, haha, and I think that is just wonderful! If crabasses see my joy, just MAYBE it will lighten them up somehow – maybe long after I’ve moved on. When we put massive joyous energy out there — and I KNOW you do! — that is all there is to it. We aren’t the smile/joy police (though I sure wish there was such a thing!haha) so all we can do is keep putting that energy out there without question, without attachment to the outcome and let the energy go where it needs to go. Keep shining and trust all is well!
Happy Holidays to my Hotai!
suZen
.-= suzen´s last blog ..Happy Winter Solstice! =-.
Hi Suzen,
Oohh….a smile/joy police squad! Now that would be totally awesome.
Just kidding.
As Julie mentioned in her comment, areas like cities or huge suburbs (like mine) are full of people and the energy in this part of the country is very different. My husband is a California boy and he makes me laugh with his commentary on the differences between the two coasts. There is a lot of truth to what he says. People here are constantly in a rush. There are no manners.
For the most part, it does not bother me but last week I saw stuff that just made me sad. It was not in so much sadness for myself because I am a happy person. It was sadness for the other people because to be so miserable is quite draining and when there is a majority of people who are like that, it just gets to you.
No worries, I will keep spreading my light and praying with all my heart that people realize that life is truly very beautiful.
Happy Holidays to you too!
Hi Nadia,
I love this time of the year. I love the lights, the music, the store fronts, sharing joy, as well as celebrating the true meaning of Christmas, I find myself smiling and saying “Happy Holidays” or “Merry Christmas” to people. Although some seem to be taken aback, most will respond with the same – often (hopefully) realizing “yes, it is a holiday to celebrate”.
Like you, I also do a lot of baking. I love sharing what I’ve made with friends, family and neighbors. It truly is, as you put it, “lovin out of the oven”.
Have a very Merry Christmas Nadia, and a blessed New Year!
.-= Barbara Swafford´s last blog ..Happy Holidays To You & Yours =-.
Hi Barbara,
Goes to show you that great minds think alike!
Thank you so much for the Christmas and New Year wishes. May you have a wonderful Christmas with your family and may 2010 be a year filled with numerous blessings!
The softness of the Buddha is followed by the students of him every now… His 8 command for us… If you said in this post it will be beautified by that.thanks for this great post..everybody should follow him.thanks once again.keep sharing.
Hi Web Design Company,
Buddha is awesome, isn’t he? There are a lot of similarities between him and Christ which I think is fascinating. And yes, the Eightfold Path is a wonderful guide to follow. Namaste!
Nadia.
You are definitely not alone in searching for soul in the world. Sometimes it’s easy to find, sometimes it’s quite elusive. But the first place to start is in the mirror every morning. I can only think that all those faces you encountered that morning had simply forgotten to bring their soul with them that day.
Reading this I feel like giving you a big hug!
.-= Ian | Quantum Learning´s last blog ..Surviving Christmas =-.
Hi Ian,
Hugs are always welcomed!
No worries, I am fine and still my happy self. I just was frustrated at seeing all the pain out there and it just got to me. I am human after all. The interesting thing about the soul is that many people do not realize that they have one because all the illusory stuff gets more attention. Of course, we all have had our moments of being fooled by the illusions so there has to be compassion. I see that but there are days when seeing the pain of others just breaks my heart.
Amen sister! I notice this all the time. I think a lot of it has to do with gratitude. I’m so grateful to just be here and taking the time to be grateful is something that takes practice. I wake each morning and “thank God for giving me my soul today” and show me what I’m supposed to do. From then all, it’s all gravy!!
.-= Jared | SpiritualZen.net´s last blog ..Spiritual Growth: The Willingness to Change =-.
Hi Jared,
Being grateful truly does make a difference, doesn’t it? Many people tend to be focused on what they are lacking and not what they have. For example, the ability to get up in the morning and use the bathroom on your own is a huge gift that many people do not value. It is not until people lose what they have that they realize that things were not that bad after all. It truly is a matter of perception. Good for you for seeing those blessings and thanking God each day for them. That is so beautiful. Keep on shining bright!
Now all the peoples behave like this. All are running behind the money. They didn’t realize what they want. But when they will look back in their life they feel what they missed in their life. They could lose their happiness, life, good peoples and they might be alone…So people must not deal with money, they could deal with love other people, smile and make the surroundings happy then they could feel the life is how much happy.
Hi Web Design,
Actually, not that many people know what they truly want. I think that is the problem. We are all taught that we need money in order to survive. We are not taught what life is all about on a spiritual level. Hence, that is why so many people are so confused and miserable. I really believe with all my heart that the majority of society want a meaningful life, they just do not know how to get it or what it looks like.
Hi Nadia,
I’m really late to this post’s party…
I’m glad I don’t shop where you shop…all kidding aside, but if one is too caught up in the hustle and bustle, one must stay home or skip Christmas all together. Our minds, our attitudes change everything…an attitude of gratitude is my wish that every human will wake up with in the morning…because it’s going to be another hectic, busy day as people finish shopping or start out on their journey to see loved ones.
Maybe if those of us who posted a comment here could just wake up with that attitude of gratitude it will spread like wild fire. Smile. Hold a door open. Leave a decent tip. Let the light inside you radiate outward.
Happiness and joy to you Nadia!
.-= Peggy´s last blog ..Splendid Blog Bling =-.
Hi Peggy,
It is never too late to join in on the discussion. So no worries!
You made a great point about attitude. It is important to act from a place of being grateful for the blessings that one has. I know that each day I am thankful for everything that I have. I always leave a generous tip wherever I go and always hold the door open for others. Spreading love and light is a way of life for me. However, there are days when the constant misery of others just gets to you.
Manners seem to be a lost tradition and it is heart breaking. Maybe it is because I live in an urban setting but politeness is becoming an ancient concept. I think many people are just so consumed with themselves, they lose sight that they are part of a greater whole. So yes, change starts with us and I really believe in that. I just have moments when the collective pain of those around me just breaks my heart.
Happiness and joy right back at you!
Hi Nadia, I really like this article. It hits me because I walk around in public and sometimes I’m so absorbed in my own thoughts and what I need to do for the day that I forgot that I might look like a lifeless robot to other people. Today, I was getting a Chicken McSandwich at McDonald’s and the drive through people were really enthusiastic and friendly towards servicing and delivering the sandwiches. It brightened up my day like this article. Thanks for sharing this.
Hi Hulbert,
Thank you so much for being so open and honest in sharing how sometimes you are so absorbed in your own thoughts. I am sure you are not alone in doing such a thing. I think we all have such moments. You also made a great point about how when you see other people being friendly and enthusiastic it has a positive impact on every person who comes in contact with such energy. I am happy that my post brightened your day. Your comment did the same for me.
Did those people look like they needed a hug? LOL
I agree Nadia and it’s such a shame but all you can do it be true to your joy and love. Maybe the purpose of those is to remind us of where we were and how far we’ve come. Maybe our purpose is to awaken those. Do people need awakening? I believe they do. I believe that greatness is within all of us but not everyone awakens to that at the same time or even in this lifetime!
Big Amit love and Even Bigger Amit HUGZ!!!
.-= Amit Sodha – The Power Of Choice´s last blog ..Send Your Enthusiasm Skyrocketing This Xmas =-.
Hi Amit,
Everyone could use hugs, right? A person can never have too many friends and too many hugs.
I definitely do believe in the importance of awakening and I think each person will awaken when they are ready to do so. It may be in this life or in another but it will happen. I have no doubt about that fact.
Each person is a spark of the Divine. The problem is that the spark is covered up with what we refer to as our “issues” and sometimes people get more consumed with the illusions of the issues and lose sight of the spark. Therein lies the problem. In the words of Teilhard de Chardin, “we are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” We are much more powerful than we know.
Thank you so much for love and hugs. Much love and hugs right back at you! I hope that date went well.
Nadia,
This is a wonderful thoughtful post. Your insights match my own. The despair (or Robot-like looks) on people’s faces has been astounding. I think we are in a national malaise and have been for a number of years now. People actually look unhealthy to me, poor skin tone, no light emanating from them.
This year when I went out Christmas shopping I vowed to bring some light with me. To shine a bit so others could feel shiny too. I did favors for strangers and was courteous, smiley, etc. Some people were responsive and they lit up too. Others seemed to get all their buttons pushed by my efforts. That’s ok. I did what I felt I had to do.
Then I came across a card in a card shop. What was written on the front took my breath away. Here is what it said, right in line with your post:
“Wherever you find yourself, be the SOUL of that place.”
I am taking that challenge seriously. If we all WERE a little more soul, just imagine how things might change.
And, yes, I know we ARE soul, pure and simple, but are we embodying it in the world?????
Holiday love to you, dear friend. What a joy it has been to meet you and connect with you this year. You are a blessing to me and so many others!
.-= Jan´s last blog ..A Powerful Meditative Practice for the Holidays =-.
Hi Jan,
Merry Christmas to you! Thank you so much for all the kind words and please know that I am grateful that we met and connected too. You are a blessing too!
And I love that card that you found. What a powerful line! It reminds me of the famous line by Gandhi “be the change you want to see in the world”.
Some days it is very easy to do that and there are days when the blank faces just break my heart. I know that I may be a bit over sensitive but it is truly painful to see the lack of joy in others. Personally, I absolutely love this time of year and it just makes me extra happy. So when I see the looks of agony it just is so hard for me. However, that does not mean that I do not keep on trying. I will be forever an optimist and so I keep doing what I can. I know you do too which is wonderful!
I read the post and knew I would find many comments.
I know exactly the looks you’ve mentioned. I know the faces that are lifeless. I see it in the mirror – and in most people. I hear it in more and more people everyday in the day job.
I’ve had people ask me if I’ve got all my shopping done and if I’m ready for Christmas. I answer with a green light smile – but deep down I want to answer that this time of year is about so much more than mindless shopping in malls. I tried to avoid malls this year. I went to a few independent stores, or single stores within stripmalls. I realize that I go to ask the same question just out of conditioning and stop myself.
I would like to give gifts of true value for the person in the long run. I am getting my father a domain – and will get him a space of his own online. I don’t know what he thinks about this yet but I think he should have a domain in the name of his company.
Awesomely enough, I got the support of my Fiancee tonight about my issues. This is the only thing I would ever want for Christmas: Support. I would love to explain what the support is in regarding to, but I’m sure I’ll let you know in another comment soon.
I have done so much thinking. I have worked hard this past year to build my own platform to pursue a life that has meaning and purpose.
.-= Scott Webb´s last blog ..How Corporations Can Actually Help Social Media and Communication =-.
Hi Scott,
Merry Christmas! You raised such a great point about how people always ask if you are done shopping. I have seen that too and it always humors me because it is a funny question. I mean…isn’t Christmas supposed to be fun? Aren’t we supposed to enjoy giving presents? People make it sound like they are doing their taxes and personally, I think doing your taxes is much worse.
I am with you on giving gifts of value and the present you are giving for your father is just awesome. That is a very considerate gift and I am sure he will appreciate it since having an online presence is really important if someone is running a business.
And yay on the support from your fiancee! That is awesome. Sounds like so much is coming together for you and it is beautiful to watch. I am really happy for you. And yes, you worked hard but it is paying off. Your life already has meaning and purpose, you are just fine-tuning things! I look forward to seeing how things unfold. Thank you so much for always being so open. It is a joy!
Blessings to you!
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